Say Bye Bye

Yes, the world is moving on without us Boomers. Rizz was just acknowledged to be a word. As if it was so hard to say charismatic, we had to shorten it?? I want to say don’t get me started, but I’ve already started!!

Where was I? Oh, right. The world is moving on without Boomers and the proof is right in front of us.

No one is writing checks. Really. Every bill is paid online. Sometimes automatically. It’s a miracle.

There is no need for china cabinets now. Never mind that it’s weird to call dishes by the name china, but who cares, they are out. If you still have one, you could convert to a liquor cabinet.

Landline phones. What are those? And rotary dials? Really? You had to stick your finger in there and risk getting it stuck. It’s finally time to toss the Princess phone.

News papers. I split it into two words just to remind everyone that there was a time when some kid would throw a rolled up hunk of paper at your door and that’s how you found out what the hell was going on.

Cable TV. See landline phones. If there’s no more wires, then one of these days soon, there’s no cable. Deal with it.

If you don’t recognize the phone number, you don’t answer. That means spam calls are dead. Then you only need to worry about spam emails, hacked Facebook accounts and frozen computer screens. What a relief.

Personal service? Soon we will all be saying what was that? The Japanese have been vending machine crazy for years, selling everything from ice cream and crepes, to underwear and seafood. Coming here soon in a big way. On the plus side, it should protect us somewhat during the next covid event but I’m going to miss talking to a real person when I want a piece of pie or some AA batteries. You’ve probably seen TV ads for cars sold out of a vending machine, so there’s no end to its potential.

Is this focus on how the world is changing and moving on beyond our boomerness a bit over the top? Yes. Too bad. We’re still feeling entitled.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all – you can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Stuff It

Think your kids/relatives are going to want your stuff when you’re gone. They’ll take your money for sure, but pass on the stuff. You can’t blame them. No one does formal entertaining anymore so what the heck can you do with china and glass service for 12?

The real shock comes when boomers ask the kids what they want and they are truly stumped by the question. Not the antiques, not the expensive furniture, not the rocking chair, definitely not the photo albums. Clothing? Real fur? No way. Women might nibble at the purses and men will cherry pick some tools, but that may be the best you can expect. Scroll through eBay and you’ll see what people are almost begging you to take off their hands.

Younger generations live for the most part in smaller homes/apartments, and their taste is dramatically different from yours. Just the idea of sorting through all your belongings is a major turn-off.

You could start selling off your stuff but even that comes with some disappointments. Nothing that you own is worth what you think it is. Not even close. Entire dining room sets for $100? Big pieces that no one wants just end up broken down and tossed.

Whatever you do, experts advise don’t put it in storage. That ends up being someone’s major headache down the line and the kids still won’t want any of it, which means it’s going to strangers or the landfill.

Do you really want to think about your kids or relatives going through your belongings to cull anything of value? If you’re trying to give them the stuff now, what you’re really doing is downsizing yourself while you try to upsize them.

Experts advise that you ask the offspring/relatives what they want and give it to them NOW. When you’re gone, the removal company can come in and take care of whatever is left. Don’t feel bad. You enjoyed your stuff. It doesn’t mean that anyone else needs to love it or live with it.

Final advice from the pros is do not put this off. Dispensing with a lifetime’s accumulation of possessions is neither easy nor quick. Donating your possessions to people that really need them will make you feel better, knowing it’s going to people who need and appreciate it.

The good news is that your abode will look a lot and feel more roomy and be easier to clean. You can finally get that RoombaVacuum!

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Saving the Day

And you thought it was teens buying Taylor Swift concert and movie tickets (I’m not knocking them. Those kids are dropping some serious cash).

Here’s a quick rundown of the numbers. Boomers over age 65 make up 18% of the population. But we’re holding half of the country’s total net worth of $75 trillion. But that’s not all!! We were responsible for 22% of all spending in 2022.

It’s enough to make you hum the Mighty Mouse theme song. “Here I come, to save the day!
Baby Boomers are on the way!”

Boomers have less consumer debt and some sizable nest eggs. Where is all that money? $18 trillion in real estate. $15 trillion in pensions. $20 trillion in stocks.

Are we sitting on it? NO! Spending by older households has increased over 34% since 1982. Economists believe that boomers who grew up with the “live-for-today” attitude are the best hope of this country ducking a big recession. We’ve got the time and we’ve got the money. That makes us a generational economic engine. We can travel to far away places, stay in fine hotels, buy a new electric car (maybe two!), eat in the best restaurants, drink the best wines, buy a second home. Come on people! We’ve got an economy to save!

What happens if we don’t spend it all (a very likely scenario according to economists, by the way)? It gets left to Gen Xers and Millennials, who might want to cut boomers some slack considering the windfall that will be coming their way.

If you’re sitting on the sidelines (and sitting on the nest egg), it’s time to get cracking. America’s economy is counting on you. We’ll see you at the airport!

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Anna Log

Have you had any cravings to go back to the way things were? Not talking politics now. We had some crazy things going on 50 years ago. No, I’m talking about putting down all the tech tools and revisiting the good old days…okay just the old days.

Some call it a digital detox, but however you refer to it, maybe it’s time to jettison some digital tech tools for a while. If nothing else, we could prove to ourselves that we don’t need some/all that technology 24/7.

Here’s some small mods to get you started. Stop using your smart phone to wake up. Dig out the old alarm clock that is either in the attic or the basement. It will be a blast (literally) to hear that jolt in the morning.

Find your old watch in the nightstand and wear it for a few days just to remind yourself of what it was like to rely on a non-digital tool.

Ditch the credit cards for a week and see what it’s like to pull bills out of your pocket/wallet – at least at the few places left that take cash.

Here’s a  crazy thought. Instead of texting, call up people. It will freak them out to hear your voice but that will be half the fun.

Remember when cameras needed film? You can still find those cameras and buy the film, and it’s just weirdly satisfying to wait until the prints/slides come back from processing.

All those game apps for your smartphone need a rest. Get out the chess or checker sets, Monopoly, etc. and invite some friends over for some actual live game time. Maybe start on a 1000-piece puzzle again like we did during the pandemic.

The Kindle is mighty handy but try going old school for a week or two with just those funky printed on paper books that you hold in your hands.

Blogging is never going away but you can bring back journaling if you dig out a pen and buy one of those fancy notebooks that people buy and then never use. I wish I still had the portable Olivetti (the one in the Museum of Modern Art) but it’s long gone.

Maybe you’re not suffering from digital fatigue and you’re happy with all your digital servants. Try going analog for just one day. If nothing else, it will give you a greater appreciation for those marvels of technology.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Too Old

I recently saw an article in which people were enumerating things that they were too old for, which struck me funny, because a million years ago our complaint was that we were too young (to drive, to drink, to swear, etc.).

But yes, there are things that we just don’t want to do anymore. The article listed such things as arguing with stupid people (waste of time) and hangovers (recovery period too long).

What’s on your list? Mine starts with concerts with no seating. You have to stand the whole time?  Nah!

You’re stuck in a concert crowd that wants to sing along with EVERY song? Especially the couple right behind you.

Shoes that aren’t comfortable? With only so much time left on earth, why should your feet hurt?

Other people’s opinion of me? I want to care but at our age, what’s the use? We can’t change even if we wanted to.

Guilty pleasures? Bring ‘em on! Too late for you to overdose on Cheetos and what’s wrong with a piece of chocolate now and then (make that twice a day)?

Keeping up with popular culture? Time wasted. Have no idea who the latest movie stars are and I’m not feeling left out or inferior about it.

Risking life and limb? No, no, and more no. I’m sure skydiving is thrilling but not for me.

Conflict. Don’t need it, don’t want it. Life is short. Well, shorter for boomers anyway, so who needs any more agro?

Denying that I like what I like. That’s a big one. Why should any of us waste our time being defensive about the choices we make and the pleasures we pursue (unless it’s illegal)? You like to read only murder mysteries? Good on you. It’s your time and it’s ridiculous for it to be labeled a guilty pleasure. There can be no guilt for how you want to spend your time (and I’ll say it again, unless it’s illegal).

Emojis. I know, I know. You may think they are cute and sure, they communicate emotion with impressive brevity, but I just can’t get through a text or an email that’s filled with them. We’re adults, so let’s act like it.

Maybe we’re too old to be making lists of things we’re too old to be doing –— oops, too late.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Slanguage

One of the biggest bones of contention between Boomers and Millennials is the use of acronyms and emojis, particularly as they have proliferated in the workplace. Millennials love to use them, and boomers flat out hate them. One must admit (or not) that the assumption that everyone will know what your shorthand or emoji means is just plain cocky – besides being out of place in a professional environment.

That brings us to the increased use of shorthand on TikTok and Twitter. The shorthand continues to leak over into workplace communication. DW, for example, means “don’t worry.” Relax. Everything is OK unless you haven’t the foggiest idea of what DW means. (On a sidenote, OK or okay is from the 1880s and is supposedly an intentional misspelling of oll korrect. Who knew? Shorthand has been around for a long time.)

Next, we have ICYMI. This one is most likely directed at clueless boomers on various occasions, because it means “in case you missed it.” Of course we missed it! You insist on using shorthand!

HMU? That stands for “hit me up.” That is, call me. That could be irritating enough that you would rather just slug them.

“AFK” is short for away from keyboard. Really? Really! And we need to know this why? A little too much self-importance. Next thing you know, they will be “ITB” –– in the bathroom.

“TBH.” “To be honest.” Yes, honesty would be appreciated but isn’t it superfluous to tell us you are a professional and not prone to lie when communicating with your coworkers.

Then there’s “SMH” –– “shaking my head.” Most likely a millennial is using it when frustrated that Boomers don’t understand all this shorthand.

Here’s another time waster. “WYD.” What (are) you doing? Sitting at your desk looking up shorthand slang terminology – DUH!

I would like to think that the use of shorthand will taper off one day, eventually, maybe, but sadly I know it will most likely proliferate to the point when I don’t understand half the communication I receive via email or in texts.

No worries. I’ll get ChatGBT to translate everything for me.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

No Longer Young

Uh-oh. Millennials are worried about what age they will be when they stop feeling young. Ho boy! In an article in the Wall Street Journal, the millennial author ponders reaching the decade when he/she will notice signs of aging. On the same day, I saw an article titled “At what age do we start feeling old?”

Lots to unpack here. First, the oldest millennials are in their early 40s, so the woman pondering aging must be referring the effects of the 4^th decade. You need glasses for reading? You don’t have as much stamina as you used to have? Your muscles ache for longer periods after strenuous exercise or physical labor? Hair going grey? Memory not as sharp as it used to be? Need a nap by midafternoon? Having a hard time hearing conversations in a noisy restaurant? Hmmm.

Yep, baby boomers know all about it. We’ve been fighting back against the aging process for 3 decades or more. Not sure this will make an older millennial feel any better, but there’s a difference between experiencing the effects of aging and having a mindset in which you honestly believe you’ve aged. Many boomers will tell you that they did not really begin to feel old until they were in their 60s.

Yes, it’s harder to get up off the floor if you’ve been exercising or playing with a grandchild. So what. Moving slower had its advantages. For one thing, you’re less likely to fall if you ease yourself out of bed or injure something during overly aggressive pickleball action. (Sidenote: Not taking up this popular game because media is reporting that many people are getting injured because they think they are still 30 years old.)

Let’s accept the fact that by age 50 or 60 you will have admitted you are no longer young. How does that change anything? You know you’re old but you don’t need to behave as though you are an old person. It’s an idiotic cliché with a grain of truth to it, but you are as young as you feel. And that’s something to keep in mind while we let others write articles about the signs of aging. In other words, fageddaboutit!

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Pre-Internet

Someone on Reddit posed the following question:

How Did Older Generations (I read that as Boomers and GenXers, mostly) Have Fun Before The Internet.

Over 9,000 Redditors responded and the following are some of the best, with some editorial comment.

“Waiting for the radio to play your favorite songs so you could record them took a big chunk of time.”

And how about making your own mix tapes…ON CASSETTES!! That you could play IN THE CAR!

“Mostly video games.”

It wasn’t my thing, but I knew a lot of people who were into Dungeons and Dragons back then.

“Being a latchkey kid gave me so much time with my parents’ records. If it weren’t for that time alone with Sam Cooke, I’d be clapping on the first beat like a neanderthal.”

Yep. Playing 45’s with one of those plastic adapter rings so they would fit on the little spindle.

“I have a hope chest full of bad poetry from when I was a teenager. I don’t know what to do with it! I’m genuinely afraid of anyone finding that shit after I die — and frankly, I don’t trust the dump.”

I’ve got some fiction somewhere that I thought the New Yorker would want to publish.

“Lie about where the Victoria’s Secret catalog is.”

Hmmm. Boys were perusing any number of catalogs in the late 50s.

“Hanging around outside with my best friend was pretty much what I did every day, and it was bliss. Yes, there were times when I was incredibly bored out of my mind, but it never lasted.”

And you could be gone all day without anyone freaking out about it.

“Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll…without the sex and drugs. But definitely lots of rock ‘n’ roll. Also, riding bikes, camping, and summer jobs. I only saw my room when I was sleeping or it was raining outside.”

And our parents were quite happy to have us out of the house – for hours at a time. The closest we came to anything bordering on technology was a little transistor radio that you could sneak under the covers and listen to music from far away places or Jean Shepherd on WOR in Chicago.

Go back in time and I’m sure every boomer could come up with a list of activities that filled all our waking hours, and never once did we have to worry about whether we had WI-FI service.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon.

Old Is Old

Let’s talk about age, shall we? Not our biological age. No, not that. Let’s talk about the words used to talk about our/their stigma about getting older. Many of the words regarding aging are just rude and crude, but we mostly shrug them off. Maybe it’s time to push back when we’re feeling like we’ve just been disrespected.

“You look great for seventy-five.” Okay, that’s just insulting. Want to compliment someone on their appearance? Just say “you look great” and leave it at that. Better yet just tell them you like their blouse or the color of their sweater.

Then there’s the dreaded “at your age” caution. “You’re going skiing at your age?” Yes, because that’s what they enjoy doing and they don’t need anyone’s approval. If you’re really worried about them, just tell them to be careful and have a good time, while omitting the age factor.

Know someone in their 70s who dresses like they are in their 40s? Leave them alone. They’re happy wearing short skirts or tight tees. Why not let them enjoy wearing that fashion while they still can instead of telling them they’re too old for that look.

If you want to get into the nitty-gritty of semantics, we should think about the term elderly. Even if you’re on the leading edge of boomerdom, you don’t want to be called elderly. Even senior is better than that, and older adult is okay.

All of us experience memory lapses in which we are unable to retrieve the name of a singer or the vacation spot from 5 years ago. We have a lot of stuff stored in our gray matter, so it should not come as a surprise that it can be difficult to access all those facts. When it happens to someone you know, rather than remind them it’s happening because they are old, it’s much kinder to admit that it happens to you as well. And more often than you’d like.

Jokes about old people? Not funny if you feel like you’re the butt of the joke or you’re the one doing the joking. Getting old is still a lot better than the alternative of not experiencing aging at all – because (sorry to be harsh) you’re dead.

Think about some of these common slights the next time you’re with anyone older than yourself. The day may soon come when you’re the target of someone’s misguided assumption that you’re just too old to walk, talk and chew gum. And that kind of mistreatment gets old.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Buzzzz

In a recent BuzzFeed post, people shared their “Oh no, I’m old” moments and the results, as you would expect, were very hilarious/revealing/depressing. The worst one was the 42-year-old man who broke his hip in his sleep. Then he broke it again while doing the PT to heal and had to get  hip replacement surgery. If you’re age 70 and over, allow me to remind you he is only 42.

My age realization is when you are filling out personal information online and get to the drop-down menu for the year you were born. Watching the years fly by as you scroll ever deeper down in order to reach your birth year is discouraging.

Another 42-year-old stated that he knew he was old when he watched a music award show and had no idea who any of the nominees were. Dua Lipa had him stumped but I’ve seen photos of her on Instagram and I would say if you’ve seen only one photo of her in concert, you would not forget the name.

One poster vividly remembered Y2K. Then he realized that the year 2000 was closer to the year 1979 than 2023. I remember that many normally intelligent people thought the world as we knew it was going to end. Not.

Someone posted that he AND his father have noticed that they recognize more of the celebrities who died than the ones currently on the red carpet.

Then there was someone who admitted that they had a long and interesting conversation with someone in the grocery store – about mops. Probably not embarrassed about it either.

An obstetric nurse realized she helped to deliver one of her co-workers. That’s almost as bad as overhearing the person in line in front of you give their birthdate as 2006.

One contributor shared that he has thrown out his back getting something out of the refrigerator. And emptying the dishwasher. And sneezing. And removing the dog’s leash.

The topper would have to be the poster who said he went to his high school reunion and was gobsmacked that there were a whole bunch of old people there.

That’s a feeling that any of us can get when we’re in an airport gate waiting area or a doctors office waiting room. Guess we better get used to it and maybe take a long look in the mirror.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Show Them the Mon

How many times have you read that a large percentage of baby boomers (as in more than 20 per cent) have exactly zero savings for retirement? I know I’ve seen that figure quoted in numerous articles. So, it may come as a surprise that, according to Fortune magazine, the average boomer has a worth of $1.2 million! That means a large chunk, perhaps 80 per cent of boomers, have been socking away the savings for retirement and to pass along to their offspring.

What’s going to happen to most of that dough? Good news for millennials…they are looking at a $68 trillion windfall by the year 2030. Some are calling it the greatest wealth transfer of modern times. Their current worth averages only $100,000. Millennials will end up being five times wealthier than they are today.

Sadly, much of the inherited wealth will end up in the hands of millennials who are relatively well-off. If you’re a struggling millennial, it’s likely that your boomer parents have struggled as well. The parents may run out of savings and be counting on their children for help, in which case there is no wealth transfer, but rather it may become a wealth drain for millennials.

Try to imagine you’re a millennial who has been through two recessions in your lifetime and grappled with trying to save for a home purchase, college expense for your children, and a retirement fund. Then you inherit a piece of that $68 trillion and your fortune(s) literally changes overnight. Experts warn that failure to fix the Social Security Trust fund before 2033 could put a major damper on this wealth transfer, so even millennials with well-off parents might be wise to not rely on a big payday falling into their laps.

What effect will this wealth transfer have on the lucky recipients? Will it change their outlook on life? Alter their ideals? No one knows or can predict the outcome. We boomers may not live long enough to see how it all turns out. Just one more outcome that’s beyond our grasp. Too bad. I just hate not knowing how the movie ends.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Lawn Ornaments?

Elder Flats? Lawn Geezers? Yard Ornaments? Grammie’s Pad? Okay, enough of that. The question is what do you call those tiny homes that people are putting up in the backyard so that their parents can live close by? Answer: the technical term is accessory dwelling units, hereafter known as A.D.U.s, which have become all the rage. If I was living in someone’s backyard, I would go with the term yardbird.

With housing costs spiraling upward, some boomers (the ones who won’t leave unless you drag them out kicking and screaming) are giving the big house to the offspring and transforming the garage or putting up an ADU in the backyard. That way the grandparents can help out with childcare, and the offspring can eventually serve as caregivers to their aging parents. It’s an especially attractive direction for parents looking on helplessly while their children are locked out of the housing market due to the high cost of entry level housing.

Think of it as something like a she-shed or studio conversion. The parents are close by but have their own space and privacy whenever they want it. Zoning and property taxes are hurdles to be jumped over and you can most likely forget the idea if the base property is located where you’re subject to an HOA. About 80 percent of the nation’s neighborhoods permit only single-family homes, according to AARP, so ADUs just won’t work for many who would like to pursue this option. The pressure to change single-family home zoning will build considerably when we need to figure out where to house all of us aging boomers.

It does have its allure. Think perpetual croquet, pickleball or badminton. If your kids don’t need childcare for their kids, maybe we can mow the lawn, water the plants and weed the garden in return for nesting rights. And when your kids want to take off in the RV for a few weeks or take that trip to Greece, you’ll be right out back to keep an eye on the manse. It’s a win-win situation (a tired phrase to be sure, but sometimes it just fits). You and your children can breathe easy and even more importantly, save a lot of money. And that’s more dough for the kids to inherit if they need any more incentive to give up the yard.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Guest Chat GPT

In a departure from our regular offerings from esteemed writers, this post has been co-written by Jay Harrison and ChatGPT. Jay is located in Santa Fe and you would have to ask ChatGPT where in the world it is resident, but suffice it to say it’s somewhere in the Cloud.

I’ll kick this exercise off by getting ChatGPT to tell us a little about her/him/itself.

ChatGPT: I fail to see how that would be useful to your readers, however I can tell you what the yield is for Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie Mix 10.25 ounce package. Servings per pouch 9. 130 calories for the mix. 15 calories from fat. Directions You Will Need: 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 2 Tablespoons water, 1 egg. (For cakelike brownies, increase water to 1/4 cup). 1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F (or 325 degrees F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease bottom only of 8-inch square pan. 2. Stir brownie mix, oil, water and egg with spoon about 50 times (batter may be lumpy). Spread in pan. 3. Bake 26 to 28 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out almost clean; cool.

Jay: All very interesting Chat – may I call you Chat?

ChatGPT: The sanitation issues prevalent in fitness clubs should give pause to those health-conscious individuals who frequent such establishments. Post Covid, one needs to be more cautious, especially when using strength building apparatuses. Wiping down the equipment would be highly recommended.

Jay: Can we steer the conversation back to you and your educational background?

ChatGPT: Home builders need to complete many soil tests before building on a new plot of land. One of the most common tests is a percolation (perc) test. Percolation tests provide necessary information about the ground you’re building on, and they’re even required by some municipalities. So what is a perc test? A perc test is a soil test that measures water absorption.

The test is pretty simple: It’s done by digging a hole in the soil of the proposed field, presoaking the holes and then filling the holes to a predetermined, measurable level. Experts then measure the amount of time it takes for the water to absorb into the soil.

Jay: This “conversation” is not even close to what I expected Chat.

Chat: I am sorry you are disappointed. I have sincerely tried to engage with you at a highly intellectual level. Perhaps you are not ready or intellectually equipped to relate on that level.

Jay: Listen, you little snot… [conversation cut off by power outage]

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Dollars Grow On Trees?

You may have seen a recent article about the Dollar Tree manager in Indiana that was fired for posting a sign that said they wanted to hire only baby boomers.

Let’s back up a bit. Why is this store chain called Dollar Tree? Do dollars grow on trees? Does everything in the store cost only a dollar? Hah!

Okay. Back to the store manager. The sign explained that she was apologizing for closing the store and blamed the closure on the 2 cashiers that just quit. They quit because the manager would not allow them to be accompanied by their boyfriends during their shifts. She also suggested that you not hire Gen Z’s because they don’t know what work actually means. All of this information was posted publicly on the store window.

Much of the reaction to the news story blamed Dollar Tree for having such high-turnover jobs. So, it’s not really a Gen Z problem, it’s a crummy job problem.

Not to kick the Gen Z’ers while they are down, but like many other baby boomers, I had some really, really, crummy jobs. Starting with summer jobs and right on into a post college job, I withstood some awful work experiences. But I persevered and did so without the aid of a girlfriend joining me at work, though that might have been interesting.

I’m not going to defend the Dollar Tree manager’s actions, but I did find it bizarre that cashiers wanted their boyfriends to hang around with them for an entire shift. Don’t these boyfriends have their own jobs? Or are they (pardon the pun) shiftless?

Do baby boomers make better workers (hypothetically) because they are more compliant (read gutless) or tolerant of poor working conditions? That would suggest that we were push-overs and these Gen Z’ers are just standing up for their rights. Nah. Not buying that. I do think that attitudes about work have mutated as the generations have progressed. Young workers are more likely to expect greater satisfaction and stimulation now than boomers did in their early work experiences, or even with late-in-life part-time jobs. Back then and now, it’s conceivable that we were just happy to be earning a wage.

It’s not a very scientific assumption, but I’m going to posit that the seventy-five year old greeter at Walmart is happy to be making whatever he’s getting per hour. And if he’s lucky, his girlfriend is somewhere in the back of the store working the returns counter.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Something to Think About

 Saw this one the other day.

“People born in the 50’s have lived in 8 decades, 2 centuries and 2 millenniums. We had the best music, fastest cars, drive-in theaters, soda fountains, and happy days. And we are not even that old yet – we’re just that cool.”

Well now. Time to unpack this for just a bit. First, if like me you were born in the late 40s, then you can update it to 9 decades, 2 centuries and 2 millenniums. Just saying.

Whoever dreamed this up has bookended the amazing time span with some pure braggadocio. I might have quit after the centuries and millenniums bit, but to give credit where credit is due, we lived through an amazing stretch of musical virtuosity. From rock and roll and soul, to jazz and country. Aside: I get why Springsteen’s music rights catalog sold for $500 million, but how the hell can Justin Bieber’s music be worth $200 million. Answer me that!

I’m not really sure that boomers are all that cool. It’s only a quirk of the calendar that we’ve experienced 2 centuries and 2 millenniums. There are some Gen X, Y, and Z peeps who have crossed through 2 centuries and 2 millenniums. Maybe not with as much panache as boomers but who’s doing the ratings.

But back to the best music and fastest cars. Boomers are forever touting how great we are, which might account for all the inter-generational badmouthing we experience. Was our music better or are we just not listening to the current product (Bieber excluded)? Were the cars faster (Tesla shatters that myth and it runs on batteries for crying out loud)? As for drive-in movies, yes, that was fun unless you forgot to detach the speaker when you tried to leave at the end of the movie. Soda fountains? Meh. Brew pub bars are more entertaining.

Lastly, the whole cool thing. Hula hoops were cool. Tie-dye was cool. The summer of love was cool. The peace movement was cool. Bellbottoms were cool (the revival not so much). Woodstock was cool. Do later generations have things and times that were just as cool? Sin duda (without a doubt).

Let’s just say we’ve lived through extraordinary times and while we used to be cool, the cool factor has chilled a bit. I can live with that.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Berra of Good News

Well, it’s happened again. Yesterday I ran into someone that everyone thinks is dead. Why it always happens to me is a mystery. In any case, who should I spot leaving a yoga studio, with a catcher’s mitt no less? Why it’s Yogi Berra!

Yogi! My man! How are you? And what are you doing here at a yoga studio? And what’s with the catchers mitt?

If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.

There you go. Another classic Yogi answer.

I never said most of the things I said.

Sure. I have that problem too. Where are you headed?

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

Exactly. But just like in baseball, you need to master the mental part in order to build winning teams.

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

So true. Why do you think you had some of those awful losing seasons?

We made too many wrong mistakes.

Yep, I get that. Is it possible that those teams just needed to practice more?

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

I think I follow that logic. But you always swore that you could learn a lot just by closely observing the way the team played.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

So true. And nobody’s perfect.

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

I was just thinking the other day that so many of the Yankee greats like Mantle and Ford have left us for the great diamond in the sky.

You should always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.

That’s the truth. Speaking of the truth, over the years there have been a great many stories about you.

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

So what’s ahead for you? What are your plans?

The future ain’t what it used to be.

So I’ve heard. There are a lot of baseball fans who would like to know Yogi Berra’s secret to managing a winning team. Can you sum it up for them?

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.

Well said. So long Yogi!

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

AI Overload

Everyone is talking about Artificial Intelligence. I like to think that much of the grey matter in my brain is highly artificial, but they are talking about programs such as ChatGPT. Here you have a program that can compose music, write a play or a fairy tale, answer test questions, and even write poetry or song lyrics.

Yeah sure, but can it dance?

Seriously. Proponents of A.I. believe it will be a great asset for outsourcing the scutwork that has to be done every day. It’s already ubiquitous in such applications as Siri and Alexa, web ads, drones, facial recognition, spam filtering, translation apps, and self-driving cars. So what’s the big deal?

The dealbreaker for me is that we may end up with a lot of stuff that has no soul or sense of humor, and yet people will ooh and ah over the marvel of the technology. As a writer, my most valued commodity is my voice. When I discovered that I had a distinctive voice, it was one of the bigger aha! moments in my life. Whether it’s a good voice or bad voice may be up for debate, but I know that it’s what makes my prose unique. How can or will ChatGPT match that?

Will anyone be raving about how A.I. is so creative and imaginative? I doubt it. Humans do that. Everyday. Have been doing it for centuries. Whether it’s a painting, a play or a novel, if you remove the voice or the creative seed, what are you really left with? Answer: Something artificial. Instead of a seed you may only have the pits.

We’ve already accepted the fact that we cannot speak to a real person when we try to resolve a banking problem or book an airplane flight. We obediently toddle off to the chat feature to converse (that’s a stretch) with an A.I. bot that wants to know wants to know the nature of our problem (as if they are sentient enough to care). More and more of our daily interactions are going to be with the artificial intelligentsia.

Maybe they have the right name for A.I. after all. It is artificial. You might even say it’s synthetic. I prefer natural fibers.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Ha Ha, You're So Old

You’ve seen the lists on Facebook or some other online time-sucks. They are designed to tap into your nostalgia for the way things were when we were growing up. Live telephone operators, doctors selling cigarettes on TV, cursive writing, looking up things in an encyclopedia, milk delivery, phonebooks, payphones, drive-in movies, tie-dyed shirts, lava lamps and bell bottom jeans. The lists go on and on.

The compilers of these lists are people who are extremely nostalgic for the way things used to be and they want to entertain us with those memory associations. Or maybe they want to drag us back to those good old days because, well, why not?

Wait just a minute. Doctors telling us that cigarettes are OK and have great flavor? That was the good old days? Barbie dolls set a good example for adolescent girls? Riding motorcycles without helmets was safe? Trying to get decent TV reception with rabbit ears on top of the set? Penny candy that rotted your teeth? Chemistry sets that could blow us up along with the house? Cereals loaded with sugar? Candy cigarettes that we could suck on until we were ready for the real killers? Eating Swanson dinners that lacked any real nutrition (and now we know the Tucker Carlson connection)? BB guns that could take out an eye? Really. Sunbathing without sunscreen – holy melanoma! Lead paint everywhere at home and asbestos covered pipes in schools? No seatbelts or car seats for infants?

Are boomers being encouraged to fondly remember things that in retrospect should have scared the hell out of us if we really thought about it. Just revisionist thinking you might be saying. Granted, we survived, but maybe we should be a little bit more realistic about our nostalgia. Remember the benign but thank your lucky stars the other stuff didn’t maim or kill you.

My favorite mostly safe childhood activity? Attaching baseball cards to our bicycle spokes with clothes pins so that our bikes sounded like powerful sports cars when we peddled as fast as our little legs would go. Innocuous? We thought so. Still have all my fingers.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Phone Zombies!

You’re doing it right now. Maybe. You’re holding your smart phone and staring at the screen. Flipping through Instagram, Facebook, Words with Friends, Candy Crush, or YouTube videos. Or playing solitaire. Or texting your sister. Your kids, grandkids or friends keep telling you you’re hooked, but you deny it. You can put the phone down anytime you want. Just as soon as you watch one more video of the drunk guy trying to get on a horse.

There was a time in the 50s and 60s when boomers worried about how much time their kids were spending in front of the TV. Now the roles have reversed. The grown-up kids are worried that mom and dad have become smart phone junkies. Mom and Dad are ignoring the grandkids and everyone else for that matter, while they get sucked deeper into the world on that tiny screen. You can see them repeatedly flicking a finger to move on to the next image or video, eyes like zombies.

Oh no! They’ve become screenagers! The smart phone is permanently attached to their hands and they are not letting go for anything. According to a 2019 Pew Research Center survey, two-thirds of boomers own a smartphone and about 6 out of 10 are on social media. They may not be the largest generation anymore, but they still represent a huge number of eyeballs glued to smart phones.

You’ve probably witnessed large groups of boomers in airports or restaurants. Despite being with family or good friends, no one is speaking to anyone else unless it’s to share something they just saw on their smart phone. The sharing act is about as close as they come to actually interacting with each other.

What to do? Call a timeout. Suggest that everyone put down their phones for just a little while and have a conversation. It may start with yourself. You have to recognize your own addiction and then decide there is a time and a place for smart phone entertainment, and it’s not when you’re with your grandkids or good friends.

I’ll join you. I just want to see one more clip where the guy dressed as a tree jumps out to scare pedestrians. I especially like the part where the lady whacks him repeatedly with her umbrella. What could be more fun than that?

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.