Deep in Da Nile

Whadda you mean I’m not 58? I feel like I’m 58.

Yeah, about that. You’re just another baby boomer who thinks that they will live forever. But have you noticed that you are forgetting things more often? That thing where you go into another room but can’t remember why –– is that happening more often? Do you need the TV volume up higher than –– ahem –– some other people in the room? Is figuring out how to do stuff on your computer getting more and more difficult (i.e. requiring the services of random teenagers in order to figure out how to back up your old iTunes –– I know, Apple killed it and they call it Music now. How creative.). Do your knees feel sore after a long walk or a hike? Do I need to continue listing these things or are you getting the message?

You –– we –– are in denial. And the older we get, the more denial we exhibit. I’m not particularly worried about it. It’s normal as we age. I’m more worried about where it stops. This is why children take away the parent’s car keys. I don’t have any children. Does that mean people I don’t even know are going to tell me I should not be driving anymore? I know this day is far off (or is that just more denial?), but it’s never too early to start worrying about it.

Baby boomers just don’t think of themselves as “older adults.” And honestly, why should they? The definition of older adult has been “updefined.” The President is 78. The Speaker of the House is 79. Bernie Sanders is 79 and he’s a famous meme for crying out loud!

Of course, we are not the first generation of oldsters to face this problem. The difference is that we are baby boomers, and I don’t have to tell you, boomers have this group-think tendency to believe we are different than past generations. Not necessarily better, but different. Our culture has contributed to this effect as well. We are living longer and healthier lives. There are more medical and psychological means of deferring events that used to define old age.

So. What to do? Keeping paddling in the Nile? That’s where you will find me. Until or unless someone takes away my paddle.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Sominex

Maybe it’s the anxiety of waiting for a vaccination or just the general angst of waiting out a pandemic, but either way, I’m ready to try some Sominex (doubtful they still make it). If you’re old enough, you might remember their jingle. “Take Sominex tonight and sleep. Safe and restful, sleep, sleep, sleep.” That little ditty is still effective. You almost want to lay your head down and take a nap after listening to it.

The more serious issue is what baby boomers may be doing to themselves to get some quality sleep. There are warnings that alcohol consumption is way up and it stands to reason that various sleep aids such as ZzzQuil, Luna and Nytol are experiencing a big bump in sales. Likewise, CBD products are getting very popular for the supposed benefit of reduced anxiety.

I suppose you’ve heard that we should be getting 7 hours of sleep a night. Who was getting 7 hours even before the pandemic? Six is good, hell, I would take 5. The creepy aspect of this sleep deprivation is that we really don’t know how much sleep we’re getting. Looking at the clock over and over throughout the night does not prove that you were not sleeping in between time checks. How many times have you heard yourself say, “I didn’t sleep at all last night.” If it were really true, you would be in a zombie apocalypse movie by now.

Is this sleep deprivation issue really about the pandemic or is it a natural consequence of getting older? The National Sleep Foundation found that 35 percent of Americans report their sleep quality as poor or fair. Boomers spend less time in deeper stages of sleep and our circadian rhythms change, causing us to go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. Their advice is to shoot for the same bedtime and wake-up. No TV or electronic devices (that’s going to be tough); no eating within 3 hours of bedtime; no caffeine after 3 p.m.; and don’t stay in bed if you are not sleeping.

All this talk about sleep is making me drowsy. Oh yeah, they also recommend naps be limited to 20-30 minutes. See you in my dreams.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

 

Memories

I want to discuss memory loss with you. For baby boomers, the fear of memory loss is really the fear of dementia. I’m not referring to the inability to recall names, places, or even what you ate for lunch. Wait, where was I? Seriously, isn’t every boomer thinking that dementia is right around the corner when they can’t remember something they were told an hour ago? You can argue with me if you like, but I’m going to affirm that half the time my problem is with listening skills, not memory, but that’s a whole other story.

The good news is that exercise not only improves memory – it also decreases memory loss. Studies have shown that walking for as little as 2.5 hours per week can significantly improve memory.

Exercise increases the levels of brain chemicals, and that in turn encourages the growth of nerve cells. The more aerobic the exercise, the more successfully your brain ages. Soooo, time to get moving.

While on the subject of memory, I wanted to know why we can remember things in the most distant past but not how we spent the afternoon yesterday. The science indicates that once a memory is created it has to be stored somewhere. Sensory, short-term or long-term. I’m going to guess that short-term can only hold so much, while long-term is there for the long haul.

And I just remembered why we can’t remember when we were babies. Most of us, that is. I’d be willing to bet there are a few boomers out there who can remember getting a spoonfuls of Gerber Apricot Mixed Fruit, but they would have to be considered extremely rare. The rest of us at that age had brains that were not developed enough to bundle information into the complex neural patterns known as memories.

Maybe you will remember this the next time you and your friends and family are discussing memory loss. Or maybe not.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Puffy?

Yeah, puffy. You want to make a big deal out of it? No, not me. I was just thinking that it’s an interesting name for a mattress and décor company.

Then I was intrigued by the fact that Puffy just released results from their national sleep survey.
They surveyed over 4,400 adults from all 50 American states, asking them how they were sleeping in the time of Covid.

Surprisingly to me, 74% said they preferred working remotely from home. But, they were going to bed later and less satisfied with the sleep quality. I guess you could say they are a bit stressed out. Millennials have it the worst, as 62% of those surveyed reported higher stress levels while working remotely.

It seems that how you work remotely has a lot to do with your stress level. Baby boomers were working out of home offices, which most likely reflects the fact that they have larger homes. 54% of the boomers surveyed fell into that category, while only 20% of the Gen Z and millennials had designated office spaces. Presumably, the rest were working at the breakfast bar, dining room table or the bedroom. Home office spaces translated into lower levels of stress according to the survey.

Not surprising, 79% of boomers preferred working from home. Well yeah! They have fancy pants home offices. 68% said that their productivity level was higher than when they were in offices.

Only 20% of millennials had a home office and 42% were working in their bedrooms. 62% were feeling more work stress than they did before the lockdown. Keep in mind that these are the “digitally-native” workers who grew up with computers but are struggling with the adjustment. Housemates, young children and limited space are all factors in their dissatisfaction with work-at-home circumstances.

Bottom line, Puffy’s data suggests that sleep satisfaction across all demographics has nosedived. Older adults in particular, while transitioning well to remote work, are not happy with their sleep. Only 27% of those over age 55 were satisfied. Gen Z’ers reported the highest satisfaction (48%) and that appears to correlate with the redecorating they’ve done during the lockdown.

Aha! I think I get it now. Puffy sells bedding and bedroom décor. Better décor — better sleep! We’ll all sleep better now that we know their secret.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Guilty?

I was reading about retirement the other day. Could mean I’ve been thinking about it. Although now that I’ve read what some people say about retiring, it’s tweaked my contrarian side. One particular writer advised that by retiring, I would be giving a younger person an opportunity to take on more responsibility. Okay, that’s fine by me. They continued by adding that the younger person would get a promotion and make more money. That’s fine as well. Therefore, she/he concluded, retirement is really an act of generosity, so don’t feel guilty about it.

What the hell did he/she just say? Don’t feel guilty about retiring? Nuts to that. Guilt is the last thing I would feel on the way out the door. I’ve been working since I was 12 years old. Helping out in Dad’s business, working summers to pay for college, working in several careers and then co-founding a business that’s about to start its 35^th year.

I get that there will be a period of adjustment when the time comes. That’s why I’ve decided to ease out the door by remaining a consultant for a few years. But the pressure to start the day by checking client emails and formulating a work plan will be over. No more reacting to weekend work requests. It will be more about what I want to do that day and having a more relaxed attitude about what needs to get done versus what I’d like to do. The weekdays should melt into the weekend, so that eventually, I hope, I can’t tell the difference.

My Type A personality is not going to give way overnight, but I’m hoping some Type B traits will leach in somehow. At the very least, I’m hoping to have fewer and less frequent To Do lists. Then again, if you have a lot of free time on your hands, a To Do list might be just the ticket.

Guilt? I don’t think so. Paid my dues, put in my time. Soon, most of the time will be mine.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

I

Fake!

It would be one thing if baby boomers read things on the internet and recognized them as fake news, but you have to blame certain politicians for turning everything they don’t want to hear into fake news.

Now for some true news. Guess who the biggest fake news spreaders are? Give up? Baby boomers, my friends, are fertilizing the infosphere with erroneous information at a rate greater than any other demographic. Sad but true, older Americans are more likely to share articles from fake news domains and disreputable sources. Researchers looking at 2016 Facebook posts found little sharing of fake articles excepting persons over 65. The Social Media and Political Participation Lab and Princeton University, found that on average, users over 65 shared nearly seven times as many articles from fake news domains as the youngest age group did.

How do you explain the boomer propensity to share false articles? Perhaps they think naively believe if it shows up on Facebook it must be true. They must not have alternative news sources by which they could fact check what they are reading in order to become more discerning. Another theory is that they are just lazy. They read something that is what they want to believe and have no inclination to follow up to ascertain if it’s true. A third, and more ominous possibility, is that they know it’s false but just want to pass it off as true to piss people off. I could surmise what political affiliation some boomers might have if they fall into this last category, but that just might be fake news as well. Last, but not least, there’s the theory that boomers have just gotten dumber. The bullshit meter just doesn’t work like it used to, sad but too true.

Come on boomers! You’re better than this! You were part of the generation that marched for an end to the Vietnam war. You protested and marched for civil rights legislation. You are supposed to speak truth to power, not share lies and bullshit. There’s enough fakes (people and ideas) in our world right now. Boomers ought to take some pride in having enough sense not to spread falsity and make it worse.

And proud at least to not be as bad as the Russians.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Losing It

Get rid of it! Let it go. Give it away. Clear it out. Dump it.

How many ways can we say it? It’s time, maybe no better time, to clear out all the clutter and junk you’ve been holding on to since who knows when. Some things may have sentimental value, but when push comes to shove, not that many.

I can hear you now. But these things may come in handy one day and then you’ll be sorry that you got rid of it. How sorry? Like “Oh my God, that would have been perfect for (fill in the blank). Really? Perfect? Will the recognition that you could have held on to it for just one more week, month or year really make you feel better or worse? Or will you be able to just think, too bad, and then move on?

I’m reminded of the t-shirt that had printed on it “Whoever dies with the most things wins.” But what do you win? And besides, you’ll be dead, and everyone knows there are no winners in that case. If you have kids, they don’t want any of the stuff you’ve been saving for them. So that leaves…..who? The people who clean out houses for a living. They are unsentimental pros. You would be better off disposing of your junk NOW than leaving the job to strangers.

Sell it online or donate it to people in need. Either way you will be doing them and yourself a favor. I wish I could go one day without mentioning the pandemic, but if you need another reason to jettison all your flotsam, it’s that a virus could wipe any one of us over 60 types in no time at all. Imagine strangers pawing over the stuff you could not bear to part with, perhaps rejecting it anyway because they already had enough junk of their own. It would be far better to see it go to people in need or those who might actually desire it than seeing it continue to collect dust in the attic, basement and garage.

Once you get in the disposal spirit, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to part with just about anything. In the end, it’s just things. Trust me.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Uh Oh Spagetti-O

According to the Journals of Gerontology: Social Sciences, boomers are demonstrating greater cognitive decline than earlier generations.

For the cognitively impaired, that means we’re looking at early warning signs of dementia. Boomers start having lower cognition scores than earlier generations at age fifty to fifty-four. We know this because the scores from these tests were compared with those from tests taken by people over the age of 50 in past generations.

This has serious implications for our future mental health.

Every two years, study participants filled out surveys. They also completed a battery of cognitive tests in which they were asked to perform such mental tasks as recalling words they had heard previously, counting backwards from 100 by sevens, identifying objects depicted in drawings and naming the president and vice president.

Sound familiar?

Person, woman, man, camera, TV.

What explains our decline in cognitive function? We eat right, pursued higher degrees, and often have professional careers. The study indicates it may have more to do with loneliness, depression, and psychiatric problems than a deprived childhood. Substance abuse too (think opioids) may be a factor.

A large percentage of boomers also have heart health risk factors, such as obesity, lack of physical activity, high blood pressure, stroke and type 2 diabetes.

In short, a lot of boomers are in lousy physical shape and therefore not in very good cognitive shape.

So it’s time to shape up. Doing nothing will only exacerbate the trend. We need more regular physical activity and pursuit of social relationships. In addition, we need to address underlying mental health issues as well as treat the cardiovascular diseases. For some boomers, even these remedial behavior/health changes may not impede their risk of dementia in years to come.

Person, woman, man, camera, TV.

Oh thank God. I was getting worried. A minute later and I can still repeat those 5 words. I’ve got nothing to worry about.

Unless they give me 5 different words.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Calculations

Is it just me or is everyone more calculating? And I don’t mean in the manipulative or devious sense. I mean that we are all forced to analyze and gauge things in the time of Covid. A trip to the grocery store is no longer a jump in the car and drive off proposition. No, that would be foolhardy. A trip to the grocery store must be planned carefully, in order to evaluate the risk level. Can you go between 8 AM and 9 AM? Those are the hours set aside for those over age 65. Is Tuesday less busy than Wednesday? Will all the fresh produce be out at 9 AM or just the tired stuff from the previous day? It’s a lot to decide/calculate.

If the grocery run seems complicated, try thinking about a road trip. Where? Will it be overnight? Where will you sleep? Where will you eat? What can you do when you get there? Will there be social distancing or will you run into loads of maskholes? The days of deciding on the spur of the moment that you want to go somewhere for a mini-vacation or long weekend are just a memory. We can only hope that some day soon we can ponder that possibility again.

Then there’s sharing food. Let’s say you want to bake a pie or cook up a casserole for someone who is unable to get out much. The risk is low but you still might want to wear a mask and gloves while you prepare the food. When it’s time to deliver it, the mask goes back on and the 6-foot rule is in effect. Reusable and washable containers are advised. Ha! Nothing could be easier.

What I would really like to calculate is how many more days and months this pandemic is going to last. It’s a little bit like the inmate marking the days on the cell wall. The difference is that a prisoner has a defined sentence while we deal with the open-ended term. For now, we can only calculate how much longer we’ll be forced to calculate.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

Meals in the Time of Covid

Foodcentric. Is that really a word? Whether it is or isn’t, we are all thinking more about food, and most likely eating more as well. Avid chefs and bakers have been with us forever. They share recipes, post their food porn on Facebook, and are talking about food all the time.

Along comes a pandemic forcing everyone to shelter in place and the next thing I know, everyone is making hand-made pasta, inventing new muffins or perfecting their naan bread. It’s like the food fairy came down and sprinkled magic cooking dust over the entire world. Now everyone you know is talking about what they are cooking and baking.

When restaurants were forced to shut down, it left millions of people jonesing for the sociability and entertainment that was central to going out to eat. If you could no longer meet friends for dinner out, the next best option was to cook at home for loved ones. Early on in the shutdown, you would go to a grocery store and realize that eggs and flour were sold out…shelves were emptied. The baking and cooking had begun and pity the cooks who did not get their supplies in time.

The supply chain recovered and we’re all taking advantage of carry-out food, as a break from our own cooking, but also to try and support hard-hit restaurants that are doing everything they can to hang on. Stuck at home for much of the time, we’re turning to dead tree cookbooks and recipe websites to come up with new ideas for mealtime, and we’re not looking for fruity pancakes or tuna casseroles. No ma’am. We’re going for the hard stuff. Exotic Indian food, empanadas, lobster ravioli, shaksuka, and lemon merengue pie. Seven days a week, 3 meals a day. It’s a lot of pressure. Try not repeating the same meal for a month or more.

I’m not sure where all this is going to end, but it’s safe to say that meals in your house have either gotten a lot more interesting or there’s a huge pile of used take-out containers to go to recycling.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Hold 'Em

In a recent survey about how millennials and boomers relate to each other in the workplace, it won’t surprise you to learn that there’s just a little bit of friction there.

Millennials make up more of the workforce than any other generation, so it must be just a tad frustrating to have all of us baby boomers in their way. Thirty percent of the millennials surveyed indicated that older workers were holding them back from advancing. A quarter of them went so far as to quit because of a boomer manager or colleague. That’s going full OK, Boomer!

But here’s the flip side to that statistic. Thirty-six percent of boomers said they quit because of a millennial boss or supervisor and more than half say they experienced age discrimination.

Some of the findings are so predictable yet illuminating. We know that the generations have different work styles, but it’s still amusing that almost half the boomers are annoyed by the way millennials are always using their smart phones. Thirty-five percent think millennials are lazy and 41% think millennials act too entitled.

Meanwhile, 52% of millennials think boomers are know-it-alls, 47% think they act too entitled and 34% are annoyed by their egos.

Apparently, it’s not all petty grievances at work. Forty-two percent of millennials thought their boomer colleagues were dependable, 41% said they were punctual, and 26% said they had a good eye for detail. Boomers acknowledged that millennials could be positive (34%) and good problem solvers (32%).

One of the most divergent findings was how each generation viewed their employers. Sixty percent of boomers felt that their employer was loyal to them, while only 40% of millennials believed that to be true.

How loyal? Not that much really. If offered more money, 84% of millennials and 75% of boomers would split in a heartbeat.

Will millennials miss us when we’re gone? Hard to say. That question was not in the survey. I would like to think they will miss our steady and dependable work ethic, but it might just be a case where what they really want to know is “Where the hell is the key to the third floor mens room?”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

OK Millennials

Pew Research Center called it. Millennials (23 to 38 year olds) are now officially the largest generation in America.

I don’t need to tell you how relieved I am/we should be. The pressure is truly off us, along with the monkey that’s been on our back for twenty years.

What people forget when they speak of the 800 pound gorilla, is that the gorilla also has feelings. Boomers have been the target and the scapegoat for just about everything that’s gone wrong in this country. We rarely get credit for what we’ve done right. Twenty years of that can leave a few scars.

Now, it’s up to millennials to get everything right. Get us out of the pandemic in one piece, rebuild our economy, fix climate change, end poverty, replace our aging infrastructure, and restore our role as a global leader.

No pressure.

I forgot one thing. Don’t pay any attention to the critics, and there will be critics. They will say you’re selfish, entitled, whiny and many more not nice things. Don’t pay any attention to them. You have so much on your To Do list that you cannot waste time listening to people who only want to criticize an entire generation with useless stereotyping.

How do you ignore all the sniping and carping? It’s not easy, let me tell you. It will come from all sides. From older generations as well as your own children. From the media and from authors of bestselling books. You will soon discover that everyone has an opinion for why your generation is a complete failure and huge disappointment. If you start listening to any of this criticism, or worse, take it to heart, it will drive you nuts. Take it from members of the punching bag generation, the bigger you are, the more they come after you.

Remember this most important fact. You are not the point person for your entire generation. When you hear the criticism, don’t take it personally. They are not talking about you. You’re doing your best to be a good, caring citizen trying to make the world a better place. If they don’t get that, #&@% them.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Reset

You are not going to live forever. We can all agree on that. Yes? Let’s assume you’ve reached the age of 70. A large number of our cohort have arrived there and even exceeded that milestone.

But here’s the big question. What’s your reset? “Reset?” you ask. What’s that?

Your reset is the number you think of when someone asks what age do you feel you are mentally and physically. Sure, there’s 50 is the new 40, 60 is the new 70, but let’s get real. When you wake up in the morning and don’t want to get out of bed, what age do you feel then? When you play tennis for the first time in 2 years, what age do you feel the next day? When you do an out and back 8-mile hike, what age do you feel when you get back to the car? How about when you go to an outdoor concert for some new group and the audience is almost exclusively twenty-somethings (i.e. yours is the only gray hair in sight), what age do you feel then? When you are driving at night and you can’t see the turn you’ve made hundreds of times, what age do you think you are then?

Some baby boomers are just embracing it. They say that they know they are overweight, hard of hearing and eating poorly. What’s the use of trying when you know you’re dying? Harsh yes, but it works for them. Other boomers are fighting it tooth and nail. They exercise, get cosmetic surgery enhancements and act ten years younger than their real age.

Me? I’m just sticking with what I’ve got. Walking and hiking a lot, doing the free weights, trying to eat well and paying more attention to my vitals. As for my reset, I’ve chosen 58. I’m not sure why, but when I wake up in the morning, I know I don’t feel like 40. On the other hand, I’m certain I don’t feel like 60. At this rate, when I turn 80 I will have to change my reset. But I’ll cross that reset when I get to it.

Now I ask you again. What’s your reset?

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Upon a Pond

Well as I live and breathe! Henry David Thoreau. Can I call you Hank? Stupid question. Another stupid question – what are you doing here?

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately.”

Sure, there’s that. But you could be home watching Netflix and chilling.

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

I can’t see Netflix using that as a slogan but I could be wrong.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Now that’s a gem. That could sum up the whole TV streaming thing.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

Ooh, that’s a good one too. I guess that’s why you’re out here in the woods instead of home watching TV.

“We need the tonic of wildness.”

Now more than ever, yes sir. Totally agree. What do you make of our current political mess?

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.”

Great advice, but specifically, do you have any suggestions for how we can change things for the better?

“Things do not change; we change.”

Hmmm. I was looking for a more detailed or nuanced solution.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

Is is just me or do you have the best answers to just about every question?

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”

I just love, love, love that!

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

And here you are, all alone. I admire how you can come out here without an entourage or posse.

“I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”

That’s a great word picture. I wish you had one short enough to go on a bumper sticker.

“All good things are wild and free.”

Amen brother.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Bye Bye Main Street

Anyone been on Main Street lately? Anyone still have a Main Street where they live? Okay, let’s say it’s not called Main Street. Let’s just say it’s the main drag in town. You know, the place where all the stores are/were. Maybe it’s been a bit decimated by the whole online shopping/Amazon thing, but there must be a few stores left in town.

The news only gets worse on this street. Most of the merchants are baby boomers. About 2.4 million small businesses in this country are owned by boomers and they employ over 25 million people. A lot of these owners are at a crossroads. They want to retire but there’s no one to pass the business off to and not a lot of potential buyers.

So what. You can get everything you need from Amazon, right? True, but aren’t we going to miss being able to pick up the pipe wrench to see how hefty it is? Won’t you miss pushing hangers of blouses across the rack to find something perfect to wear that night? Isn’t it relaxing to browse the aisles of a good bookstore to find a book that’s new or that you want to read again?

I’m the offspring of a merchant. I watched how hard my father worked to make a living and how hard he tried to offer great service and value. As much as I respected his upstanding reputation in our small town, I knew I didn’t want to be in the line of succession. I ended up working in the public relations field but that didn’t stop me from making the idiotic decision to open up a small retail venture. The first lesson I learned was that I was the least expensive employee that the business had. That is I was unpaid.

Retail is tough. You’re on your feet all day, you have to deal with rude people while still smiling, and the profit margins are thin. Like my father, the baby boomers who own these small businesses would strongly urge their children not to take over the business, and instead pursue a professional career.

Where does that leave Main Street? It’s a You-Won’t-Miss-Us-Til-We’re-Gone situation. Someday soon, there are going to be a lot of vacant storefronts there. Maybe we’ll be satisfied with ordering something and getting it delivered by drone within the hour, but it just won’t be the same as walking up and down the aisles of creaking hardwood floors to appreciate the highly curated selection of goods someone has worked hard to create.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Fault Line

Here we go again. There’s speculation that millennials are leaving religion behind. Try to guess whose fault that is. Give you three guesses and the first two don’t count.

Right! Baby boomers taught their offspring fewer religious practices, so the kids have gone secular. Not even having families of their own one day will bring them back to houses of worship, so the thinking goes.

God damn those boomers. Wait, there is no God to damn them. Well none that they subscribe to.

Church membership in 2018 was at an all-time low of 50 percent. Only 42 percent of millennials (ages 18-38) were church members. And if that’s not bad enough, it was the God damn (sorry, I keep forgetting there is none) leftists who made matters worse. Democrats who were brought up in religious homes were three times more likely than Republicans to have left religion. It’s not just any boomers who have wrecked religion in this country, it’s the GD Democrats’ fault.

Why did I know this was going to come down to politics before we were done here. Maybe millennials have been praying for a change in leadership but their prayers have not been answered, so they’ve given up prayer and/or any belief that there is a God.

Where does this all end? You’re not going to believe this. Some of the remaining believers think that a bitter culture war is on the horizon (believers vs. non-believers). The only hope for believers, so the warped thinking goes, is for them to become the majority rather than the minority. They are counting on the constitution to protect their right to freedom of religion.

Just a reminder here: Freedom of religion can include the right to be free from religion. Just saying. And some folks are awfully selective about which parts of the constitution should protect and be obeyed.

Word of advice to all you lefties. Next time you get surveyed about your religious practices, you don’t have to confess to any particular affiliation. But make sure you tell them you pray every day that baby boomers will stop getting the blame for every God damn thing.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Busted Brands

Jell-O, Crocs, Kodak, Wheaties. Say bye bye. Ya busted!

Millennials now dominate when it comes to spending power. As in more than any generation in history. And what do these millennials spend their money on? A more pertinent question from the baby boomer point of view is what are they not buying?

Like I said, Jell-O, Crocs, Kodak and Wheaties are on the way out. Diet Pepsi? Forget about it! Millennials prefer sparkling water. Crocs? There’s a bunch of knock-offs and aren’t they bad for your feet. Wheaties? Who has time to get out a bowl and who keeps milk in the frig? A breakfast burrito and a smoothie on the go works for these big spenders.

What about Campbell’s Soup? Too many preservatives and hinky ingredients. They want something that looks and sounds healthy.

Budweiser? Not the King of Beers any longer. Even boomers have jumped on the craft beer wagon and that is just way too much competition for Bud.

Kodak? Do we have to mention that everyone has gone digital when it comes to photography? Sidenote: You may have missed it, but Kodak declared bankruptcy in 2012.

Jell-O? Where to start? Boomers think about it as colonoscopy prep, hideous dessert rings and associations with Bill Cosby. Millennials don’t think about it at all. And when they see it in the grocery store, they are surprised it’s still being sold.

Chef Boyardee? How did that even get on the roster of busted brands? Even boomers are surprised that it’s still being made. Millennials are happy to get many things out of a can, but spaghetti and meatballs are not what they have in mind.

Victoria’s Secret? It’s no secret that this brand is fading fast. Skinny models in skimpy underwear is so yesterday. The glam is gone and pretty soon so will the stores in just about every mall in America.

Kenmore. Yep, the appliance brand that used to stand for quality is going down with the ship, or in this case, down with Sears, which makes it a twofer. Boomers fondly remember the Sears catalog as a dream machine where one could imagine all the things you could buy. Millennials may have never walked through a Sears store.

Boomers may not be sorry to see these brands go, but in some ways it’s sad that millennials will miss out on the glory days when sugary, crunchy cereals was combined with cold milk to start the day off right. Sugar Pops are Tops!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

So Witty

I vividly remember seeing Oscar Levant on Jack Parr and thinking that he was the wittiest and most clever person I ever had the privilege of hearing. Then I read his book, Memoirs of an Amnesiac, and I was sold. Concert pianist and composer were his main callings, but for me his brilliant and spontaneous wit was the main attraction.

So it came as a real shock to bump into Levant as I was entering the dentist’s office and he was leaving.

Oscar Levant! Am I glad to see you!

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

Okay, but I’m not the only one to believe that you are/were a genius.

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”

You object to being called a genius?

“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.”

But you’re joking about the insanity thing.

“I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.”

That can’t be true.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”

You look good though.

“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”

Millions of people still adore your wit and talent.

“It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.”

That’s harsh.

“I’m controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me”

You made a lot of people happy.

“Happiness isn’t something you experience, it’s something you remember.”

Are you working on anything new?

“So little time and so little to do.”

But you must be in demand for talk shows.

“I’ve stepped on too many toes on the way down.”

But you would have a lot to say about what’s going on now in our world.

“It’d be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.”

Maybe you just need to get more rest.

“I had always resented sleep as an intrusion on my nocturnal self-pity”

Ah, the amnesia thing still has a grip on you. Well, I’ll let you go but I just had to tell you how much I, we, have missed you.

“In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Glut, Glut

We don’t want your stinkin’ homes. So sayeth millennials. To be more accurate, they can’t afford our stinkin’ homes and even if they could afford them, they hate the location.

Nine million homes are projected to go on the market between now and 2027. As boomers die or age out, the homes come on the market at a time when younger generations are looking for smaller homes in more urban locations. Locales with declining populations in the rust belt or in retirement communities are the last places younger would be buyers will be looking.

Then there’s the affordability problem. Millennials and Gen Xers have more debt and financial stress than almost any prior generation. About 70 percent of millennials and around 50 percent of Gen Xers surveyed indicated they would like to buy a house one day. Less than half of them are actually saving to buy. Eight percent of millennials and 23 percent of Gen Xers surveyed think they will never own a home.

So what is going to become of these nine million homes? Turn them into baby boomer museums/monuments? Maybe they will hate the location, but if mom and dad gift their home to a child or grandchild, will they say no? The renters among them who are put off by the costs of home ownership probably will take a pass on the deal. But others may recognize that life out in the burbs isn’t so bad if you don’t have a mortgage payment. That savings could offset the cost of Ubering back and forth to the city for entertainment and to see their rich friends who could afford houses there.

This projected housing glut has a familiar ring to it. Not only do younger generations not want our houses, they also do not want all of our stuff. The china settings for 12, the crystal, flatware, jewelry, artwork, the furniture and the damn tchotchkes – all of it is going begging at garage and estate sales. It’s stuff alright. The stuff of nightmares. We can’t give away “brown furniture” to younger generation minimalists.

Maybe the best advice then is to start downsizing now. Sell the big house and furnish the new smaller abode with the kind of furnishings a millennial would want. They will be glad you did.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

See Me

You might as well yell SEE ME! a little louder, because the fact is that the advertising world ignores us. We should be an easy bullseye for marketers but in reality, not so much. A third of the U.S. population is over 50, but when it comes to media images (talking TV and print) we only garner 15 percent according to research done by AARP. It was based on a random sample of more than 1,000 images published or posted by popular brands and organizations.

Face it. We’re caricatured in marking images as looking old and out of it and heading fast for the dustbin. Despite the fact that more than 53 million people over 50 are still working as one third of the U.S. labor force, only 13 percent of the images showed these older individuals at work. Instead, they were often shown at home or with a health care provider. Younger workers, on the other hand, were shown with their also young co-workers, and often with technology products. Only 5 percent of the images showed older workers using technology, despite the fact that 69 percent of people between 55 and 73 own a smartphone. You can bet those same people own computers and are online much of the time.

A big part of the problem is that most workers in the advertising and marketing industries are young themselves. Their natural inclination is to use images of people who look like them. Ageism is the norm in the advertising world so it’s no surprise that boomers are either invisible or shown in ways that distort who we are and the contribution we are still making to the economy. Even worse, we are often portrayed as clueless and out of touch, just foils for younger people to dismiss as “practically dead.”

The good news is that AARP did something about this trend. They teamed up with Getty Stock images to introduce a collection of 1,400 images showing older people doing what we do…running businesses, participating in sports or active pursuits and interacting with younger generations in ways that are far from insulting.

So the problem is not solved but things are looking up. Searches for “seniors” on Getty have increased 151 percent from a year ago. The most popular image now is one of women in t-shirts doing yoga. A decade ago, the best-selling photo was an older couple in sweaters on the beach.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.