Too Old

I recently saw an article in which people were enumerating things that they were too old for, which struck me funny, because a million years ago our complaint was that we were too young (to drive, to drink, to swear, etc.).

But yes, there are things that we just don’t want to do anymore. The article listed such things as arguing with stupid people (waste of time) and hangovers (recovery period too long).

What’s on your list? Mine starts with concerts with no seating. You have to stand the whole time?  Nah!

You’re stuck in a concert crowd that wants to sing along with EVERY song? Especially the couple right behind you.

Shoes that aren’t comfortable? With only so much time left on earth, why should your feet hurt?

Other people’s opinion of me? I want to care but at our age, what’s the use? We can’t change even if we wanted to.

Guilty pleasures? Bring ‘em on! Too late for you to overdose on Cheetos and what’s wrong with a piece of chocolate now and then (make that twice a day)?

Keeping up with popular culture? Time wasted. Have no idea who the latest movie stars are and I’m not feeling left out or inferior about it.

Risking life and limb? No, no, and more no. I’m sure skydiving is thrilling but not for me.

Conflict. Don’t need it, don’t want it. Life is short. Well, shorter for boomers anyway, so who needs any more agro?

Denying that I like what I like. That’s a big one. Why should any of us waste our time being defensive about the choices we make and the pleasures we pursue (unless it’s illegal)? You like to read only murder mysteries? Good on you. It’s your time and it’s ridiculous for it to be labeled a guilty pleasure. There can be no guilt for how you want to spend your time (and I’ll say it again, unless it’s illegal).

Emojis. I know, I know. You may think they are cute and sure, they communicate emotion with impressive brevity, but I just can’t get through a text or an email that’s filled with them. We’re adults, so let’s act like it.

Maybe we’re too old to be making lists of things we’re too old to be doing –— oops, too late.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.