Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Driving Miss Crazy

You don’t want to let Theresa get in your car if you can avoid it. She has these crazy uncontrollable outbursts where she yells things at you while you’re driving, such as “Look out for that fuckin’ car!!” or “That asshole is going to turn in front of us!” or “The douche bag is going to run the light!”

I call it autotourrette syndrome.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Geezer Factor

It kind of sneaks up on you and then suddenly -- it’s there. Age bias, if you want to get technical about it, or let’s just call it the “geezer factor.”

You overhear someone asking for directions and then you hear, “Ask the old guy over there.” and realize they are pointing at you.

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Advanced Skiing at an Advanced Age

On 92 degree summer days I do my stretches, lift my weights and walk my miles while visualizing the snow covered slopes I’ll navigate come December. At my age, this preparation is mandatory rather than optional. Now the memories of the early years when we were postal skiers, subjecting ourselves to sub-freezing temperatures, icy slopes and even rain just to get in a few runs amazes me.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

There’s Something About Mexican Time

As long ago as it was, I can still remember my first trip to Mexico. Arriving in Puerta Vallarta at two in the morning from a exhausting charter flight, the first impression was that we missed a turn and landed in Central America. The sodium vapor lights made everything yellow, as though it were a very bad movie print. The tour company guide herded us onto a waiting bus with all our luggage and we rumbled down the airport road and then through the deserted main streets of town.

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Monday, July 9, 2007

It’s From Nigeria, And It Could Make Me Rich

Got an email today that was very disturbing, from a Moses Odiaka. I don’t think I know him, in fact I’m sure I don’t know him, because he’s from Nigeria. I don’t know anyone from Nigeria, unless you count Bosh the exchange student that I met about 45 years ago. This Moses Odiaka seems to have done very well for himself, as he explains in the email that he works in the Credit and Accounts Department of Union Bank of Nigeria, PLC, in Lagos. Sounds like a very good job with a reputable firm, but then I don’t know much about Nigerian banking.

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Friday, July 6, 2007

Now The Cat’s Learned Yoga

Our cat has always watched my wife while she practiced yoga, but I thought it was just normal cat fascination. Now I know the truth -- the cat’s learned yoga.

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