Cloak of Invisibility

Get ready to be ignored. That’s right, the older you are (i.e. the more gray hair and wrinkles), the more likely you are to become invisible in the near future. Whether it’s a bank, a store, a pharmacy or a doctor’s office, if you are accompanied by a younger person, you will notice that the doctor, clerk or pharmacist will ignore you in order to talk to your “minder.”

As Nancy Perry Graham, editor in chief of AARP Magazine, explains it, “Older people are invisible in society after a certain point. It’s one of the last remaining acceptable prejudices.”

I get that some older individuals may have hearing problems or Alzheimer’s disease, but we’re talking about perfectly healthy, normal functioning adults. If you arrive somewhere with a son, daughter or younger companion, you will observe that you are bypassed as the conversation is directed toward the younger person. Part of the problem is purely observational. A clerk greeting an older person accompanied by a younger person automatically assumes the older adult requires assistance. Maybe they needed someone to drive them to the store, but it does not necessarily mean they are incapable of understanding how to purchase a laptop computer.

It’s one thing if we’re talking about you taking your invisible man85 year-old mother to the doctor, but it’s going to be a whole different matter when it’s baby boomers that are getting the cold shoulder. Imagine a tsunami of baby boomers, who are not about to be patronized, descending on malls, DMVs, and medical offices. They are going to behave as though they are entitled to have you speak directly to them, not some intermediary. Maybe the greatest generation is okay or accepting with someone else doing the speaking and the listening for them, but it’s hard to imagine boomers letting go that easy.

What I envision instead is a major retraining and sensitization effort on the part of any business or organization that deals with the public. With a large cohort of 60 plus customers/clients making it clear they want to be heard (and seen), management is going to want to make sure that they maintain/earn our patronage. Or pay the price when we vote with our feet and support businesses that get it.

Whatever happens, like much else associated with baby boomers, it’s going to be interesting to see how society decides to deal with us.

Let the games begin.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

I’m Gonna Live Forever

Like the theme song from Fame.

Baby, look at me
And tell me what you see
You ain't seen the best of me yet.
Give me time,
I'll make you forget the rest.
I got more in me,
And you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hand
Don't you know who I am?

Remember my name. Fame!
I'm gonna live forever

Ah....life expectancy. What a cheerful topic. Sure, our peers are beginning to drop off the planet, but baby boomers are certain that they will live forever (or a reasonable facsimile). If you’re a man born in 1946, you can expect to live to age 83.5. Plus, if you make it to age 70, your redline increases to 84.7. HOW ABOUT THAT, as sportscaster Mel Allen used to say (before he stopped....because he died).

Census figures show that there are now over two million ninety-plus folks in this country and that number is expected to balloon to eight million by the year 2050. We may not be around to ring in that stat but plenty of younger boomers will make it 95 or even 100.

If we approach aging the way we approached everything else, we’ll have it mastered in no time. With better nutrition and better exercise, boomers will most likely be going full throttle in retirement. I’ve heard it said that retirement is not a passive sport anymore, and from what I can see, boomers are setting the bar very high for how much activity one can handle in their lives.

It all does come back to that old cliche: you’re as young as you feel. And boomers are clearly taking that to heart. How many times have you heard someone say that 60 is the new 40 or 50 is the new 30. The reality for many boomers is that they wake up feeling younger and more vital than their age would indicate. Aches, pains and maladies come with the territory, but boomers remain a remarkably resilient (maybe stubborn too) bunch.

So go ahead. Live forever. I’ll be right behind you.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Will to Live Trumps Living Wills

I guess you could blame the “forever young syndrome” (just made that one up), but what else would account for the fact that 64 percent of boomers admit to not having a health care proxy or living will. This startling fact comes to us via an Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll.

Bottom line, boomers are feeling healthy and don’t wish to dwell on death. Therefore, they feel they don’t need to address end-of-life issues. Despite plenty of high profile cases where individuals had no explicit instructions as to their medical care, more than half the boomers born between 1946 and 1964 have opted to ignore the potential for such calamities.

Ahem, ahem. That’s me -- clearing my throat. I don’t like to dwell on death either, but look around people. Friends and acquaintances you used to know are not with us anymore. When you were in your 40s or 50s, it didn’t seem like a big deal when you heard that someone in their 60s had died. Then, ever so gradually, you started to hear about people who died and were the same age as you. Creepy, but you put it in the back of your mind. Fast forward to present day, and now you’re realizing that more folks that you know are dropping out of your cohort (a new euphemism for the act of dying). The reality for all of us is that we are going to continue to lose these friends and acquaintances -- at an alarming rate -- in the not too distant future.

Experts remind us that even if you’re the picture of health it’s still a good idea to have a living will that specifies your wishes for medical care if you’re unable to communicate those wishes to your doctor. At the very least, a health care proxy gives you the ability to select someone you trust to make decisions about your medical care.

Do yourself a favor (and for those who love you) and visit this link on how to create your own living will or advanced medical directive. Each state has different laws regarding living wills but the Resources link will help you sort that out.

Denial is a big river. But when the boat starts to take on water, you might wish you had a can to bail it out. It wouldn’t hurt to do a little planning for when the day comes that you’re unable to express yourself. And therein lies a poignant irony. Boomers are known for expressing themselves, and yet, the death denial response is so strong that we/they/you cannot bring ourselves to plan for that inevitable day. The river doesn’t flow forever.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.