Attention

Editor's Note: I wrote this back in 2016 but nothing's changed, only gotten worse.

So I’m having drinks with good friends at a new microbrewery…

Wait, is that my niece’s new profile picture? Cute.

Anyway, you were saying how there are so many of these new brewpubs cropping up and…

Dogs on trampolines! So funny. The boxer looks like he just discovered he has four feet. Hysterical.

So these brewpubs are like everywhere. It seems like a new one opens every week. What’s up with that anyway?

Oh, look! Here’s that picture of us at the beach that I posted a year ago today. Great memories.

I’m thinking that this artisanal beer thing has got to level off. There just are not enough beer drinkers to support this many breweries, don’t you think?

Wait, look at this! Who knew you could dice an onion like that? I’ve got to try it.

Now if there was a bar that specialized in margaritas….that I would definitely go to, wouldn’t you?

This is hysterical….a picture from my high school class. I don’t even want to know what they look like now.

But where was I? Margaritas, yes. Imagine a bar that only serves different kinds of margaritas. And maybe mezcal tastings too. That would be great.

Hey! Is this Vladimir Putin riding a tricycle bare chested? That’s very cool Photoshop work.

Have you ever had mezcal? I read that it could be the next big thing. Bigger than tequila. Only there may not be enough to go around. They make it in really small batches.

Ha! This cat is afraid of seeing its reflection in the mirror. Funny!

Maybe we should just go to Mexico, you know, go to the source and get some mezcal before they ship it to the states.

Huh? I don’t get these Yoko Ono quotes, do you? They go right over my head.

I hear that Oaxaca is one of the best places to go to try these small batch mezcals.

Listen to this! Do you believe this kid is seven years old and he can play the drums like that. Unbelievable!

Well it was great seeing you again. Think about the Mexico mezcal trip. It could be a lot of fun.

OMG! Look at these tacos!

According to a 2015 Nielsen survey, 52 percent of Baby Boomers (ages 50-63) and 42% of Silent Generation (ages 65+) respondents say they use technology during mealtime.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Mean Streets

I can remember when I would look at homeless people at various intersections around town and wonder what course their lives took that they ended up living rough. What sharp and twisted turn of events caused them to lose everything –– both possessions and dignity. With so many people living on the edge with no savings or family to turn to, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the only recourse is a life on the streets.

It may look easy but it’s a hard, hard life. Harsh weather, a lack of decent clothing, and the absence of any semblance of nutritional intake take a huge toll. You may think you see the same people on the streets, but it’s actually a continually changing cast of characters. And every day, more members join the cast.

The crude signs they hold are real admissions of both the state of their existence and how they came to be asking for spare change in the median strip by the stoplight. They are hungry and anything will help. They are veterans who came home with psychic and physical wounds. They are abused daughters or battered wives. The stolen shopping cart, wagon or duffle bag holds everything they own (and some things they don’t). The dog on a leash is both a faithful companion and a way to tug on the heartstrings of pet owners (i.e. if not for me, give some spare change that will help feed the dog).

There’s no real census for these desperate souls – only an estimate that fluctuates with the season or weather. If you travel on any major street with a median and stoplights, you can do your own count.

Do you think the homeless person at the traffic light takes in a lot of money during rush hour? Some drivers will hold out a single dollar bill. Will that happen five times, ten times, or more? Let’s say they collect ten dollars for two hours spent on the corner. That might buy them a nutritionally poor meal from a fast-food joint, and it might be the only meal for that day. They might even make enough for a second meal tomorrow.

By now, you might be asking yourself, how does he know so much about homeless people? Ah! You’ve guessed the answer. I’m just one more homeless person who was lucky enough to have someone tell my improbable story.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Space Race

So boomers plan to stay put. That is at least 55 percent of the folks that were surveyed said that was the plan. The are not moving any time soon. The problem is that they live in what’s termed “time capsules” – homes that were built before 1980 and have not been renovated. Seventy-three percent have lived in their homes for 11 years or more.

You’ve probably read (numerous times) that boomers are preventing millennials from finding homes for their families. Experts call it a generational tug-of-war. When boomers finally buy the farm (give up the ghost, cash in their chips, push up daisies, kick the bucket, we could go on and on…but wait, no we can’t), these homes are going to need substantial renovations.

Only 25 percent of those surveyed were planning on making accommodations for aging in place with safety and accessibility features. Go ahead. Picture that walk-in bathtub. Don’t lie. You know the one. It’s the one you see advertised on Facebook and in AARP publications.

When millennials finally get their hands on these properties, they could be looking at a substantial investment –– either to upgrade roofing, plumbing, mechanicals, etc. or just the removal of two dozen grab bars and a walk-in tub. Some good advice for millennials might be to invest in home improvement companies over the next few years because those companies will be repairing a huge number of homes in the next 15-20 years.

Eighty percent of the boomers surveyed believed they would leave an inheritance, presumably a property and some cash. But in an odd disconnect, only 51 percent of millennials expected to receive an inheritance. However it turns out, it could be one of those “be careful what you wish for” situations. If it’s a sizable inheritance, that will cover the renovations to an inherited house. If there is no inheritance, a millennial may end up house poor as they try to keep a property that requires extensive renovations.

Something for all the generations to think about.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Boomer Humor

Yeah. It rhymes. But that’s not the best part. We’re quite self-deprecating when you examine the body of our work. The tricky part is knowing whether to laugh at our jokes or cringe.

Here’s an example; the first of many:

“Name a city that changed your life.”

“Wuhan.”

Get it? Of course you did. I don’t know why I even felt the need to ask.

Much of boomer humor can be found – where else, on Facebook, Instagram and Reddit.

Here’s a typical example:

 Or this:

 Boomers don’t need pictures to get funny. Here’s some of their wordplay (behold the irony):

Behind every successful baby boomer zoom webinar there is an underpaid 24-year-old intern with a 115 wpm typing speed.

Boomer purgatory is the iOS emoji keyboard. Right now there are thousands of them trapped there, unable to send a picture they’ve taken of a computer screen to a person they met at a farmer’s market. 

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I’m sure of one thing: It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I haven’t gotten anything done today. I’ve been in the produce department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

So, you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?

Coffee was just a dime in my time. Now it’s a whole lecture about beans and brewing.

Respect your parents. They graduated from high school before there was Google.

Well, I think a man who tells people he’s boss in his home will lie about other things too.

What's the difference between a baby boomer and an avocado? One is a soft, wrinkly vegetable. The other one is an avocado.

I have convinced my grandma that the baby boomers are as dependent on technology as us. When she said " you millenials are so addicted to technology," I quickly glanced at her life support. That was the last time she said it.

If I had a dollar every time a baby boomer insulted me, I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

And this one got to me….seriously:

My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

See? We can do funny.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all – you can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Grey Divorce

It’s a thing. Boomers are getting divorced in large numbers. Sixteen million people aged 65 and older in the U.S. lived solo in 2022. That’s 3 times the number who did so in the 1960’s.

Remember when Tipper left Al Gore in 2010. We were shocked –– kind of. They had been married for 40 years. Bill and Melinda Gates? Justin and Sophie Trudeau? Yep, that’s a clear pattern. And it’s not some celebrity thing. Divorce rates for persons over 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010. Currently, one third of all divorces are people over 50.

The covid pandemic may have had some bearing as couples discovered they had different perspectives on vaccines, masking, and the politics of it all in general. Then there’s also unfaithfulness and other transgressions that can send a marriage south. The fact remains that these so called “silver splitters” just get to a place where they want to live apart, to fulfill their own goals untethered by a loveless union.

For many boomers, the option of remaining with a partner in a loveless or unhappy union represents a waste of what they hoped would be some of the best years of their lives. Many of these boomers are remaining single rather than jumping into new relationships and marriage. About 50 per cent remain alone several years after ending their marriages.

The number of single-person households headed by people over 75 is shooting up fast, and expected to number 14 million by 2038. Since most of these boomers show no interest in repartnering, there could be a real crisis in eldercare looming ahead. More often than not, the silver splitters are also splitting their nest eggs, cutting their savings by half. That can add significant pressure on their lifestyle and financial stability.

Not surprisingly, loneliness looms as one of the greatest disadvantages to living alone. Double duh!! Even if the financial situation is relatively stable, boomers going solo report that even when they make numerous social connections and build community involvement, it does not buffer them from a high degree of loneliness.

The trend is clearly going to continue but mental health experts, as well as financial planners, warn that the downsides can outweigh the upsides.

If you've contemplated splitting, you might want to heed the words/song by Eric Idle: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all – you can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Like Good Cheese

 

The case for age maximums. Whoa! Are people really talking about that? Yes.

We’ve always had age minimums. You couldn’t get a drivers license until you were 16. You couldn’t vote until you were 21, then it became 18. Workers need to be 14 or 16 for most jobs, and now some politicians want to change that to 12 (and shame on them!). You need to be age 35 to be President (more about that in a moment). Military service requires enlistees to be at least 17. In most states you need to be at least 18 to marry and some pols want to lower that minimum (shame on them too!). You must be 18 to rent a car, and coincidentally the reason for that is because it’s the minimum age to sign a contract.

Perhaps because there’s been so much attention given to Biden’s age (and Trump’s), the discussions about age maximums have come to the fore. Looking at the rationale for age minimums, you would have to conclude that the reasoning behind them was a sense that one must be mature enough to fight, vote, marry, drive or work.

Okay, then why have age maximums? Are we not mature enough? We’re like fine aged cheddar or Parmigiano-Reggiano. If maturity is not the problem, what then? Surveys suggest that most voters believe there should be an age maximum for elected officials. The problem arises when the discussion turns to what the age maximum should be. Should it be the age when they run for office or the age they must resign from office?

One man’s senility is another man’s maverickness (that can’t be a word but it should be). Bernie Sanders was 77 when he ran in 2020, a year older than Biden. Are some 80-somethings still sharp when it comes to decision-making and cognizance? Most definitely the answer is yes. That means it will be very hard to define exactly how old is too old. (Going back to age minimums for a moment, you could also make the case that some 16-year-olds are probably mature enough to vote and possibly more maturely than their parents.)

I don’t want to get paranoid about this, but if there are going to be age maximums for elected officials, couldn’t they cap the drinking age next? Going to have a real problem with that one.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Peak Burden

The name of a mountain? Do they mean Burden Peak?

Nope. It refers to the moment in time when almost all boomers will be age 60 or older. It’s now projected to be sometime around 2029. That’s when the youngest baby boomers will begin to turn 65.

If you think peak burden sounds ominous, then you’re going to hate the term “population time bomb.” Hey, it’s not our fault. Our parents chose to have children when they chose to have children. Once again, the sheer size of the boomer population is causing stress to the economy, and it’s only going to get more stressful.

One of the most obvious stress factors is that boomers are hogging the housing supply. Not only does that cause a shortage of stock for younger generations, it also pushes up demand which pushes up prices. Last year was the worst year for housing sales since 1995, and boomers show no inclination to downsize any time soon, so millennials that have children can’t find housing large enough for a growing family.

The next problem caused by peak burden is the labor shortage. There are more job openings going unfilled – about 9.5 million jobs to be specific. Worker shortages in turn can cause inflation. Boo! We’ve had enough of that due to Covid.

Then there is a stock market in which 80% of the stocks are owned by people 55 and older. I know! That statistic is shocking. Younger generations don’t have the spare funds or the inclination to invest. When boomers get nervous about market stability, they are more likely to sell. When there’s a big sell-off, we risk a recession. Then it would be like watching those dominoes falling.

Now if you’re not worried enough about these factors so far, you can throw in the fear (in some minds) that Social Security will run out of money. I know that won’t happen but the fear mongers love to throw that one on to make the dumpster fire more impressive.

What to do? Follow the advice of Alfred E. Neuman. You remember him from MAD Magazine. Boomers grew up with Alfred. He turns 68 this year and retired back in 2019 when he was only 63. Al’s advice still resonates with baby boomers: What me worry? It will serve us well when we hit the peak burden, for sure.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.