Mere Mortals

Boomers have gone from tinkering with their bucket list plans to pondering whether or not they will kick the bucket all together.

What a difference a few months make. The camping trip is off. The summer beach booking is in jeopardy. The trip to deliver a loved one’s ashes cannot be taken. You cannot proudly watch the daughter’s graduation. A lot has changed.

Maybe a vaccine next year will get us back on track, and yet, it’s a year lost while many boomers are wondering how many years they have left.

Are boomers better off than younger citizens who depend upon jobs and income to keep a roof over their heads and food in the pantry? Absolutely yes. It’s the reason so many boomers are donating to food banks and urging their representatives to vote yes on legislation to help those thrown out of work.

Still, we can’t help thinking we’re just one missed handwashing or sanitized countertop away from buying the farm. When you’re on the downside of the teeter board, it’s natural to see the lost time as a true loss. It’s also a reminder that mortality is a lot more than some hypothetical event in our future.

And what if some of the futurists are correct that the pandemic, this one or the next one, makes the risk of illness a constant in our lives. Are we ready to live with reduced mobility and socialization as a constant? Should we take our chances and get the virus so we can move on? Is that really possible when some experts are unwilling to predict that those who get the virus will not get it again?

No wonder everyone is experiencing more anxiety. We cannot predict or plan for what’s ahead at exactly the moment in time that we hoped we would be living the good life. It might be time to lower our expectations for how we define the “good life.” Or we could roll the dice and go for it like there’s no tomorrow, because there may not be one. I don’t appreciate Mr. Hobson, but he’s left us his choice.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

OK Millennials

Pew Research Center called it. Millennials (23 to 38 year olds) are now officially the largest generation in America.

I don’t need to tell you how relieved I am/we should be. The pressure is truly off us, along with the monkey that’s been on our back for twenty years.

What people forget when they speak of the 800 pound gorilla, is that the gorilla also has feelings. Boomers have been the target and the scapegoat for just about everything that’s gone wrong in this country. We rarely get credit for what we’ve done right. Twenty years of that can leave a few scars.

Now, it’s up to millennials to get everything right. Get us out of the pandemic in one piece, rebuild our economy, fix climate change, end poverty, replace our aging infrastructure, and restore our role as a global leader.

No pressure.

I forgot one thing. Don’t pay any attention to the critics, and there will be critics. They will say you’re selfish, entitled, whiny and many more not nice things. Don’t pay any attention to them. You have so much on your To Do list that you cannot waste time listening to people who only want to criticize an entire generation with useless stereotyping.

How do you ignore all the sniping and carping? It’s not easy, let me tell you. It will come from all sides. From older generations as well as your own children. From the media and from authors of bestselling books. You will soon discover that everyone has an opinion for why your generation is a complete failure and huge disappointment. If you start listening to any of this criticism, or worse, take it to heart, it will drive you nuts. Take it from members of the punching bag generation, the bigger you are, the more they come after you.

Remember this most important fact. You are not the point person for your entire generation. When you hear the criticism, don’t take it personally. They are not talking about you. You’re doing your best to be a good, caring citizen trying to make the world a better place. If they don’t get that, #&@% them.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Reset

You are not going to live forever. We can all agree on that. Yes? Let’s assume you’ve reached the age of 70. A large number of our cohort have arrived there and even exceeded that milestone.

But here’s the big question. What’s your reset? “Reset?” you ask. What’s that?

Your reset is the number you think of when someone asks what age do you feel you are mentally and physically. Sure, there’s 50 is the new 40, 60 is the new 70, but let’s get real. When you wake up in the morning and don’t want to get out of bed, what age do you feel then? When you play tennis for the first time in 2 years, what age do you feel the next day? When you do an out and back 8-mile hike, what age do you feel when you get back to the car? How about when you go to an outdoor concert for some new group and the audience is almost exclusively twenty-somethings (i.e. yours is the only gray hair in sight), what age do you feel then? When you are driving at night and you can’t see the turn you’ve made hundreds of times, what age do you think you are then?

Some baby boomers are just embracing it. They say that they know they are overweight, hard of hearing and eating poorly. What’s the use of trying when you know you’re dying? Harsh yes, but it works for them. Other boomers are fighting it tooth and nail. They exercise, get cosmetic surgery enhancements and act ten years younger than their real age.

Me? I’m just sticking with what I’ve got. Walking and hiking a lot, doing the free weights, trying to eat well and paying more attention to my vitals. As for my reset, I’ve chosen 58. I’m not sure why, but when I wake up in the morning, I know I don’t feel like 40. On the other hand, I’m certain I don’t feel like 60. At this rate, when I turn 80 I will have to change my reset. But I’ll cross that reset when I get to it.

Now I ask you again. What’s your reset?

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Upon a Pond

Well as I live and breathe! Henry David Thoreau. Can I call you Hank? Stupid question. Another stupid question – what are you doing here?

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately.”

Sure, there’s that. But you could be home watching Netflix and chilling.

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

I can’t see Netflix using that as a slogan but I could be wrong.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Now that’s a gem. That could sum up the whole TV streaming thing.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

Ooh, that’s a good one too. I guess that’s why you’re out here in the woods instead of home watching TV.

“We need the tonic of wildness.”

Now more than ever, yes sir. Totally agree. What do you make of our current political mess?

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.”

Great advice, but specifically, do you have any suggestions for how we can change things for the better?

“Things do not change; we change.”

Hmmm. I was looking for a more detailed or nuanced solution.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

Is is just me or do you have the best answers to just about every question?

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”

I just love, love, love that!

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

And here you are, all alone. I admire how you can come out here without an entourage or posse.

“I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”

That’s a great word picture. I wish you had one short enough to go on a bumper sticker.

“All good things are wild and free.”

Amen brother.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Bye Bye Main Street

Anyone been on Main Street lately? Anyone still have a Main Street where they live? Okay, let’s say it’s not called Main Street. Let’s just say it’s the main drag in town. You know, the place where all the stores are/were. Maybe it’s been a bit decimated by the whole online shopping/Amazon thing, but there must be a few stores left in town.

The news only gets worse on this street. Most of the merchants are baby boomers. About 2.4 million small businesses in this country are owned by boomers and they employ over 25 million people. A lot of these owners are at a crossroads. They want to retire but there’s no one to pass the business off to and not a lot of potential buyers.

So what. You can get everything you need from Amazon, right? True, but aren’t we going to miss being able to pick up the pipe wrench to see how hefty it is? Won’t you miss pushing hangers of blouses across the rack to find something perfect to wear that night? Isn’t it relaxing to browse the aisles of a good bookstore to find a book that’s new or that you want to read again?

I’m the offspring of a merchant. I watched how hard my father worked to make a living and how hard he tried to offer great service and value. As much as I respected his upstanding reputation in our small town, I knew I didn’t want to be in the line of succession. I ended up working in the public relations field but that didn’t stop me from making the idiotic decision to open up a small retail venture. The first lesson I learned was that I was the least expensive employee that the business had. That is I was unpaid.

Retail is tough. You’re on your feet all day, you have to deal with rude people while still smiling, and the profit margins are thin. Like my father, the baby boomers who own these small businesses would strongly urge their children not to take over the business, and instead pursue a professional career.

Where does that leave Main Street? It’s a You-Won’t-Miss-Us-Til-We’re-Gone situation. Someday soon, there are going to be a lot of vacant storefronts there. Maybe we’ll be satisfied with ordering something and getting it delivered by drone within the hour, but it just won’t be the same as walking up and down the aisles of creaking hardwood floors to appreciate the highly curated selection of goods someone has worked hard to create.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Fault Line

Here we go again. There’s speculation that millennials are leaving religion behind. Try to guess whose fault that is. Give you three guesses and the first two don’t count.

Right! Baby boomers taught their offspring fewer religious practices, so the kids have gone secular. Not even having families of their own one day will bring them back to houses of worship, so the thinking goes.

God damn those boomers. Wait, there is no God to damn them. Well none that they subscribe to.

Church membership in 2018 was at an all-time low of 50 percent. Only 42 percent of millennials (ages 18-38) were church members. And if that’s not bad enough, it was the God damn (sorry, I keep forgetting there is none) leftists who made matters worse. Democrats who were brought up in religious homes were three times more likely than Republicans to have left religion. It’s not just any boomers who have wrecked religion in this country, it’s the GD Democrats’ fault.

Why did I know this was going to come down to politics before we were done here. Maybe millennials have been praying for a change in leadership but their prayers have not been answered, so they’ve given up prayer and/or any belief that there is a God.

Where does this all end? You’re not going to believe this. Some of the remaining believers think that a bitter culture war is on the horizon (believers vs. non-believers). The only hope for believers, so the warped thinking goes, is for them to become the majority rather than the minority. They are counting on the constitution to protect their right to freedom of religion.

Just a reminder here: Freedom of religion can include the right to be free from religion. Just saying. And some folks are awfully selective about which parts of the constitution should protect and be obeyed.

Word of advice to all you lefties. Next time you get surveyed about your religious practices, you don’t have to confess to any particular affiliation. But make sure you tell them you pray every day that baby boomers will stop getting the blame for every God damn thing.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Busted Brands

Jell-O, Crocs, Kodak, Wheaties. Say bye bye. Ya busted!

Millennials now dominate when it comes to spending power. As in more than any generation in history. And what do these millennials spend their money on? A more pertinent question from the baby boomer point of view is what are they not buying?

Like I said, Jell-O, Crocs, Kodak and Wheaties are on the way out. Diet Pepsi? Forget about it! Millennials prefer sparkling water. Crocs? There’s a bunch of knock-offs and aren’t they bad for your feet. Wheaties? Who has time to get out a bowl and who keeps milk in the frig? A breakfast burrito and a smoothie on the go works for these big spenders.

What about Campbell’s Soup? Too many preservatives and hinky ingredients. They want something that looks and sounds healthy.

Budweiser? Not the King of Beers any longer. Even boomers have jumped on the craft beer wagon and that is just way too much competition for Bud.

Kodak? Do we have to mention that everyone has gone digital when it comes to photography? Sidenote: You may have missed it, but Kodak declared bankruptcy in 2012.

Jell-O? Where to start? Boomers think about it as colonoscopy prep, hideous dessert rings and associations with Bill Cosby. Millennials don’t think about it at all. And when they see it in the grocery store, they are surprised it’s still being sold.

Chef Boyardee? How did that even get on the roster of busted brands? Even boomers are surprised that it’s still being made. Millennials are happy to get many things out of a can, but spaghetti and meatballs are not what they have in mind.

Victoria’s Secret? It’s no secret that this brand is fading fast. Skinny models in skimpy underwear is so yesterday. The glam is gone and pretty soon so will the stores in just about every mall in America.

Kenmore. Yep, the appliance brand that used to stand for quality is going down with the ship, or in this case, down with Sears, which makes it a twofer. Boomers fondly remember the Sears catalog as a dream machine where one could imagine all the things you could buy. Millennials may have never walked through a Sears store.

Boomers may not be sorry to see these brands go, but in some ways it’s sad that millennials will miss out on the glory days when sugary, crunchy cereals was combined with cold milk to start the day off right. Sugar Pops are Tops!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.