What A Croc

Saw a social media alert the other day that proclaimed boomers just can’t give up some uncool things. What followed was an interesting list that came as a slideshow, forcing you to click NEXT over and over in order to see the list. Oh, and you also had to see dozens of ads of course. The ultimate click bait exercise. But, since my mission is to write about all things boomer, I dutifully clicked through the list.

Leading off the list of uncool things that boomers cannot quit was Jorts. Know what those are? I never heard of the term, but the accompanying photo showed a man wearing blue jean shorts. Get it? Jorts. The site insisted that jorts were ridiculous because denim is too heavy to be worn as shorts. Can’t say that I disagree but I also can’t say that I’ve seen any baby boomers wearing them.

Next on the list was 24-hour news. Boomers are uncool because they watch 24-hour news? But on the upside, it might make them more well-informed than people who only watch the Bachelorette. This was followed by Hawaiian Shirts. Now we’re getting somewhere. Boomers probably do wear too many of these shirts, but rarely with jorts so that should count for something.

Then came Dad Slacks, Home Shopping Networks and Velcro Shoes. Fine with me. Those really are very passé. Likewise, Cruises, All-You-Can-Eat Buffets, Sweepstakes and Crocs could go the way of the dodo bird and I wouldn’t shed any tears.

Three items on the list baffled me. Emailing, Ironing and Toast. Sure, texting and DM’s are the dominant forms of communication for all of us, but emails are still useful for complex content. And ironing a nice cotton shirt to wear for an evening out? What’s your problem? Toast? It’s not as cool as waffles and breakfast burritos apparently. Try it with buttered homemade bread slathered with homemade jam and then try to tell me that toast is toast.

And you’re welcome. I clicked through all those stupid ads just for you.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.