Mo’ Babies Please

Much like the one word advice the young Benjamin Braddock receives in the film The Graduate, the most important advice of our time comes down to one word, and it’s not plastics, but it does begin with a “P.” And that word is procreate.

That’s right, we’re counting on Millenials to produce lots of kids. Lots and lots. Population growth means new entrants to labor force, but more importantly, they create demand….for clothes, cars, homes and gobs of consumer goods. And growing demand means an expanding labor force. You do see where this is going, yes? New jobs are good for the economy, most certainly. But new jobs means more folks paying social security taxes and that means baby boomers can collect their social security checks.

If you want continuing support in your twilight years, you need to be cheering on these millenials to have more babies. Perhaps we should volunteer to baby sit their existing broods while they go out for date nights. Maybe we can sign them up (anonymously, of course) for porn pay-per-view. We can lobby for higher tax credits for dependent children. Whatever it takes, we need to get these millenials in the mood for love.

There was a time in our history as a nation, when families were much larger than the nuclear family average of 2.5 children (don’t get me started on the .5 kid). Large families meant free labor on the farm, with every child helping to raise crops and livestock. Think of all the advantages of returning to this family model. The home building industry would benefit from new demand for 6 or 7 bedroom houses. Automakers would retool for 10-passenger vans and station wagons. The garment industry could literally begin to offer shirts, pants and dresses that are cheaper by the dozen. We would need bigger schools and more teachers.

Stop me now if you can’t see the upside of this new baby boom. The only loser in this new paradigm might be makers of birth control products. So my advice to you is start right now, today, to encourage the millenials in your family or social circle to get cracking on making those babies. Our whole future could depend on the actions we take today.

Two, four, six, eight, who do we want to procreate!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.