I Want Candy

Seeing all those videos on YouTube with people adding Mentos candy to liters of Coke and Pepsi to turn them into literal pop rockets got me thinking again about the candy of my youth. Specifically, I got in the way back machine to the days when we thought if we put enough Fizzies in our mouth or some enclosed space and then added water, that it would be “more fun than a flood in a Fizzie factory.”

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Living With Bots May Not Be As Bad As It Sounds

If you haven’t thought about a robot washing your butt or being your cuddly companion, it might be time to give it some serious consideration. Looking ahead a few years to when 28% of its population will be over 65, Japan is pinning its hopes on robotics to fill the shortfall in caregivers for the elderly.

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Waiting for Mail

Can life be any duller? I should say, can life be any duller if all you have to look forward to is the mail arriving? You wake up to a life filled with promise, bring in the newspaper, and sit down to read while you eat your bran cereal (God knows you need the fiber).

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You Can't HANDLE the Truth!

What’s so great about telling the truth? Lying is an art, requiring imagination, guile, creativity. The best thing you can say about the truth is that it’s telling it like it is. And what if “like it is” just isn’t good enough? What if it’s just plain boring? That’s why we lie.

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Driving Miss Crazy

You don’t want to let Theresa get in your car if you can avoid it. She has these crazy uncontrollable outbursts where she yells things at you while you’re driving, such as “Look out for that fuckin’ car!!” or “That asshole is going to turn in front of us!” or “The douche bag is going to run the light!”

I call it autotourrette syndrome.

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The Geezer Factor

It kind of sneaks up on you and then suddenly -- it’s there. Age bias, if you want to get technical about it, or let’s just call it the “geezer factor.”

You overhear someone asking for directions and then you hear, “Ask the old guy over there.” and realize they are pointing at you.

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Advanced Skiing at an Advanced Age

On 92 degree summer days I do my stretches, lift my weights and walk my miles while visualizing the snow covered slopes I’ll navigate come December. At my age, this preparation is mandatory rather than optional. Now the memories of the early years when we were postal skiers, subjecting ourselves to sub-freezing temperatures, icy slopes and even rain just to get in a few runs amazes me.

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