Eat, Eat

According to recent research by the National Restaurant Association, boomers are beginning to “age out” of the restaurant market.

Since when do baby boomers “age out” of things? How did that become a thing? Aging out. We’re too old to eat outside of our homes? I call bullshit on this one. Supposedly, there are fewer boomer patrons due to mobility issues, unwillingness to drive after dark and the availability of dining options within senior living communities. I will accept that these factors might limit a small percentage of the boomer population, especially if you bear in mind that the oldest boomers (born in 1947) would be 72 years of age now.

In any case, restaurant operators are setting their sights on younger patrons. So rather than staking a claim on our barrels of money, they would rather focus on younger patrons with less expendable income. They predict a slow and steady decline in boomer dollars (which apparently will parallel our own slow and steady physical decline?). So it’s all about Generation Z now. You know them. They were born after the year 2000 and cannot spell or write.

Okay fine. So while restaurants are infatuated with Gen Z, the research suggests that boomers have shifted their dining dollars to take-out and delivery. Too feeble to make the scene anymore, our dining choices will be limited to what a teenager can bring to the door.

I don’t like where this is going. Are restaurants just in the vanguard of a movement to keep boomers at home where they can receive all their goods and services when the doorbell rings?

How about we fight back against this restaurant trend by taking a bunch of Generation Z kids out to dinner a few nights a week? Everybody wins. The restaurants get our dollars, the Gen Z kids get a meal they could not afford, and they can show us how to reboot our iPhones. And don’t forget — they don’t mind driving at night!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Face It

Let’s face it. Or not. Boomers are jonesing for plastic surgery procedures that will turn back the clock. The over 55 demo is seeking liposuction, botox and fillers that will make them look younger. What’s driving the big increase? Besides just wanting to look younger, this group also has a high divorce rate and that means they are back in the dating pool. Bad online dating site photos can kill a boomer’s chances right out of the gate.

Facelifts (rhytidectomy) top the list and last year boomers accounted for two-thirds of them. And half of all eyelid surgeries. The facelift fixes sagging skin, deep fold lines, jowls, and those turkey neck things that can really kill the buzz. Plan to spend north of $7K if you’re in the market for this fix.

Liposuction removes fat and contours what’s left behind. Throw a tummy tuck in there and you’re looking at a $3,500 and up price tag.

Hair transplants can remedy thinning mats and bald spots for men who want to get back that Woodstock look they’ve been missing. The cost varies with how much acreage you need to repair.

Breast augmentation is still popular and involves implants or fat transfer. That will run somewhere over $4K.

Finally, botox and fillers help to correct crow’s feet and forehead lines for as little as $400 bucks.

Add in a gym membership, loads of vitamins and health supplements, and a sporty car and you’ll be all set to start dating again.

Is it really worth it? I guess that depends upon how unhappy you are about your physical appearance and how motivated you are to seek out rewarding companionship. Anything that makes you feel more happy about your self-image can’t be all bad. We look in the mirror every morning and every night (and some of us look even more times than that) so if what you see makes you unhappy, maybe it’s time to invest in your physical and mental well-being.

Or you could just buy a Kindle and a Netflix streaming account and not leave home anymore. Life is harsh.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Enough!

The subject of hoarding can never be too far from your consciousness— after all, baby boomers have been collecting stuff since the 60s. For all I know, you’re still wearing it all too.

But now it’s time to let go. Stop hoarding and start redistributing. To help you with your hoarding compulsion, you can watch some of the TV shows that are still running or go with Marie Kondo “does it spark joy” method.

What does it say about us that there are TV shows devoted to hoarders? There’s even a Clutterers Anonymous organization plying the 12 step waters to find their way to recovery. Twelve steps seems like too many if you’re trying to reduce the clutter in your life. What about three steps? 1) Admit you’ve been making a mess of your home. 2) Get rid of all the crap you’ve been hoarding. 3) Apologize to anyone you’ve ever allowed/forced to be in your home. There—that was easy.

The International OCD Foundation (you read that right) even has a Hoarding Center. That sounds a little obsessive, but they would know more about that than me. You can go to the Hoarding In the News section and read about how too much “stuff” can cause grief.

Once I came across a Holmes on Holmes TV episode (make it right Mike) where contractor Mike Holmes was flabbergasted to find a couple who had so much crap in their home that the heating and ventilation system couldn’t work properly (the vents were all blocked!!!). It just got away from them and then snowballed to the point that they didn’t know where to start—so they didn’t. If Mike had not come along, they would probably be dead now—carbon dioxide poisoning. He and his crew carted off all the family’s junk in a convoy of four trucks.

Boomers, it’s time to get proactive. Learn to love the minimalist décor. Dump it on your kids, sell it on eBay or leave it in the street, but you’ve got to get rid of your excess stuff before the reality show producers come calling and you really make a fool out of yourself. Fifteen minutes of fame is a strong lure, but do you really want your friends and family to see you that way? There are lots of teenagers jonesin’ for your cast-offs. Let someone else take care of your stuff the second time around.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Go West!

I know it seems improbable, but I keep running into famous people who purportedly died. What can I say? It’s a gift.

My latest encounter was with Mae West. She was coming out of Nordstrom Rack with an armful of shopping bags.

Wow, Mae, you bought out the place!

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”

Shopping can be addictive from what I understand.

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

Good advice. But maybe a bad habit?

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

And that was also your approach to men?

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

You do have a reputation for being shall we say risqué?

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.”

You certainly shocked some people in your day.

“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”

Well you lived your life the way you wanted. No regrets?

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

You married twice but neither lasted. What’s up with that?

“Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”

Did you worry about your reputation at all?

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

Happens to everyone. Do you care what people think now?

“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

Speaking of reputation, does it bother you to know what some people thought about you?

“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

Would you consider getting married again?

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.”

Well, maybe they just want to get to know you better.

“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”

Mae, I think you lived a fabulous life that people still admire today.

“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”

And it most certainly is or was. You are an impressive lady.

“I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Back at the Ranch

The more things change, the more they stay the same. At least that might be true when it comes to the housing of choice. Baby boomers are turning to ranch homes for the convenience and compactness. It’s a manageable size for retirement and that means they can keep their freedom and independence.

That’s just a bit ironic since the ranch home traces its roots to the old west, when early homesteads were made of adobe and then later inspired by the Spanish-style homes popularized in California circa 1920. Easterners grew fond of the unpretentious look and the affordability was very appealing. Around 1950, nine out of every ten homes in the United States were ranch homes.

So early settlers to the frontier and beyond were looking for freedom and simplicity and more than 100 years later, baby boomers are attracted to ranch homes for the same reasons. Living on one level often required larger lots back in the day but that’s not necessarily true now. The sprawling ranch homes of the 50s have become more compact and efficient, but the outdoor lifestyle in still key. Most new ranch homes have multiple egress to the outside for outdoor kitchens, dining and recreation. Swimming pools and hot tubs are also popular with baby boomers. The U- and L-shape configurations are still desirable because they offer more privacy for the outdoor space, especially important now that ranch homes are cropping up on smaller lots.

For further irony, even millennials are attracted to this home style and are competing with boomers in the real estate market. For a millennial, the moderate cost is a big factor but so is the nostalgia, as many of them grew up in this type of home.

Maybe it’s time for you to saddle up. Put some horseshoes on the wall. Get one of those cowboy silouettes…you know, the kind where the cowpoke has his boot up leaning against the wall and his hat pulled down low in front. A longhorn steer skull hanging on the wall could also work. Sure won’t look like assisted living.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Bon Fire

Nobody wants our stuff. Face it. Maybe you’re looking at them right now — the nicknacks and tchotchkes that are collecting dust on the mantle, piano or bookcase.

No one wants it. Not the dishes, not the furniture, not even the antique rocking chair, and especially not the figurines.

Millennials and GenXers just aren’t that sentimental about our “valuables” and even if they wanted some of it, they don’t have the space. Besides, their collectibles come in a digital format and they can store it all on a flash drive.

Thrift stores and estate sales are loaded with boomer cast-offs but they are just collecting dust. Still. They were collecting dust when we owned them and they are doomed to continue collecting dust. Go to any yard or estate sale in an older established neighborhood and you can see for yourself that our stuff is going begging. Lladro porcelain? Big deal. Even the people who know what it’s worth don’t want any more of it. A vintage Ridgeway grandfather clock? Where would anyone put it? An Apple watch does so much more. Beautiful sets of dishes, and when I say set, I mean service for 12? No one is feeding 12 people anymore and if they had 12 people over, it would be for finger food.

Look up some of these things on eBay and you’ll see acres of listings posted by desperate boomers. Their best customers may be other boomers who just can’t give up the hunt for more treasures.

I don’t care what Marie Kondo says. Holding on to what sparks joy isn’t really generating much joy and the next generations are getting absolutely no joy from baby boomer possessions.

At the risk of sounding like I’m encouraging arson, certainly one option is to put it all in a big bonfire. Or you could take it to the landfill, where the bonus is that you get to meet the most interesting people there. These options make more sense than waiting for millennials to come around and decide that these treasures are worth keeping. Won’t happen in our lifetime.

Back then to a bon fire.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Assisted What?

Oh yeah, assisted living is most likely in all of our futures, but it’s already clear that it won’t be your father’s assisted living. Baby boomers are playing by a different rules and the assisted living industry is already planning, or should I say bracing for the changes.

Designers of 50+ communities are creating roomier floor plans (cuz we’re bringing ALL our stuff with us), more contemporary furnishings, added workshop and gardening spaces, and accommodation for pets. When we sell the house, that does not mean we’re giving up all our stuff….we’re just going to repot it.

Location is a bigger deal now as well. The next generation of assisted living residents is not going to be happy stuck out in the burbs. They are going to want urban locations with easy access to cultural and dining options. According to a report from Bankers Life and Casualty Company Center for a Secure Retirement, boomers are going to be looking for “resort style of design” when choosing an assisted living or 50+ option.

Golf and shuffleboard are on the outs, but personal trainers, pickle ball and dogparks are on the way in. Boomers are not going to retire so much as go on vacation. And I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t mind living somewhere that felt like every day was a vacation. And you can be sure boomers are going to want to have a say in how the place is run. Governance is not going to be left in the hands of those “who know best,” that’s for sure.

Broad-band access and WIFI….check. Cable TV with the premium packages….check. Closed circuit security cameras….check. These places are going to be bristling with the latest tech tools and toys, because that’s what boomers are demanding. Everything from automatic and individualized temperature control to lights and doors that operate automatically.

Imagining retirement housing 20 or even 10 years from now is not just a fun pastime for futurists. The influence and impact of baby boomers is going to seachange the entire concept of retirement housing.

So cheer up, we’re going to be the Jetsons!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.