Messages From Beyond

Oh. My. God. That’s what you will be saying when you get a load of a new messaging service called myobitlist.com. These enterprising folks seem to think that there is a surging demand for ways to let your online friends know that you’ve moved on to the great beyond.

That’s right, for just $47 (they call it a lifetime fee) you can have a message that you have authored sent to your online contacts so that they know you’re dead. And you can can sign up for a 2 week trial period, which had me wondering what happens if you die in those first two weeks. Will they send your message out anyway? I mean fair is fair.

You say you have more than 50 online friends? (you’re one of those Facebook addicts who’s friended the entire population of Croatia) No problem. Myobitlist offers a premium package for $87 (that’s a lifetime value) that will get the word of your demise out to 200 of your online buds.

It’s like a Constant Contact mailing from the great beyond, only it might more accurately be called Not So Constant Contact since you get only the one message before the lights really go out.

The Youtube video that extolls the virtues of this service is hilarious, if only because you keep thinking that you’re really watching someone’s crazy clip over at Funny or Die. But there is no punchline at the end of the video to let you know this has all been a spoof and it’s not real.

Their main pitch is that if something were to happen to you (i.e. you drop dead), who would tell all the friends you’ve accumulated over your lifetime. We live in such a “connected” world now, that it would be just awful if all those connections were to be ignorant of the fact that you’re gone. As in logged off permanently.

One can only presume that as baby boomers approach the finale of their lives, many more services such as myobitlist.com are going to be there for us. Either that or a truly enterprising group is going to come up with a way for us keep on sending messages from the hereafter. Talk about Facebook hell!

I’m thinking that it’s either going to be called Heaven Sent or Hell Bent, but one way or the other, we’re going to stay connected.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine

Reaching their retirement years, some former commune residents are actively planning to head back to the place where they spent their formative years. That’s right -- they’re Going Back Up The Country -- and probably playing Canned Heat on the ride up!

Known as intentional communities, a term applied to living situations where the residents have common values or vision for their collective lifestyle, these communes are attracting boomers who have fond memories of life on the commune.

It’s estimated that there about 4,000 intentional communities and the Fellowship for Intentional Community has a substantial directory organizing them by type and location. There may be as many as 100,000 people residing in these communes

For many, the attraction is a simpler back-to-the-land lifestyle and a distaste for the materialism outside the commune. They may have outgrown the concept in their twenties and moved on to the conventional material world, only to find that now that they are in their sixties, they miss the spirit of collective living.

The newest trend is for first-timers who are taking a serious look at co-op housing options. The living quarters are smaller but there’s much more common space that is shared by all. It’s a recipe for interdependence that many boomers find most appealing.

Can you really live out your final years on a commune? Hard to say. Commune members from the earliest days in the late 60s are just now reaching that place in life. A few never left the commune and have marked their 40th anniversary there. If you’re an aging boomer, you would have to think long and hard about whether the commune’s collective spirit can support you well into your final days. Part of the equation is attracting younger commune members who will take on the task of supporting the oldest residents.

So it’s a gamble for many returnees, who have to hope that the communal spirit will be sufficient to meet their needs. But it may not be any riskier than any other retirement plan that relies on property values, investment success, good health and a decent social security benefit.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Boomers Suffering from Withdrawal?

Not likely you say? Since when are baby boomers getting shy? Not talking about that kind of withdrawal. We’re talking about the kind of withdrawal you make at the bank, and specifically, what happens to the U.S. economy when a lot of baby boomers start withdrawing their savings and portfolios all at once.

Is this scenario just one more event that the 24 hour news machine would have you freak out about? Or is it real?

Let’s look at the numbers. There are 78 million or so boomers -- but they are not all retiring at once. However, according to the Investment Company Institute, 44 percent of all mutual-fund shareholders are baby boomers. So let’s say that over the next couple of decades, they all start drawing down on these funds. Are there enough younger investors behind them to pick up the slack? Doubtful.

The theory is that the economy drives the market, but you can’t discount demographics. Ten thousand people retiring every day for 20 years (and drawing down on their savings) is going to have a dramatic effect on the markets. Twenty years from now, almost 20 percent of Americans will be age 65 or over, and that’s a lot of people slurping away at their savings. Experts point to Japan’s stagnant economy for a lesson in what happens when more than a quarter of your population is over 65.

Yet another sign of trouble in paradise is the increasing number of boomers who are shifting to bonds and dividend income stocks as they near retirement. Investing for the long-run is no longer a viable option for boomers on the cusp of their twilight years.

So, is the sky falling or not? Boomers did have a bunch of kids and those kids are now investors themselves. That helps, but experts suggest three specific courses of action: 1) Avoid Japan and Europe and look to invest in countries with younger populations. 2) Match stock picks to national demographic trends (e.g. agriculture in India). 3) Stick with income-producing equites and corporate bonds.

Finally, my personal advice: stop watching the 24-hour news cycle and try to enjoy your final years on earth.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

I’m Gonna Live Forever

Like the theme song from Fame.

Baby, look at me
And tell me what you see
You ain't seen the best of me yet.
Give me time,
I'll make you forget the rest.
I got more in me,
And you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hand
Don't you know who I am?

Remember my name. Fame!
I'm gonna live forever

Ah....life expectancy. What a cheerful topic. Sure, our peers are beginning to drop off the planet, but baby boomers are certain that they will live forever (or a reasonable facsimile). If you’re a man born in 1946, you can expect to live to age 83.5. Plus, if you make it to age 70, your redline increases to 84.7. HOW ABOUT THAT, as sportscaster Mel Allen used to say (before he stopped....because he died).

Census figures show that there are now over two million ninety-plus folks in this country and that number is expected to balloon to eight million by the year 2050. We may not be around to ring in that stat but plenty of younger boomers will make it 95 or even 100.

If we approach aging the way we approached everything else, we’ll have it mastered in no time. With better nutrition and better exercise, boomers will most likely be going full throttle in retirement. I’ve heard it said that retirement is not a passive sport anymore, and from what I can see, boomers are setting the bar very high for how much activity one can handle in their lives.

It all does come back to that old cliche: you’re as young as you feel. And boomers are clearly taking that to heart. How many times have you heard someone say that 60 is the new 40 or 50 is the new 30. The reality for many boomers is that they wake up feeling younger and more vital than their age would indicate. Aches, pains and maladies come with the territory, but boomers remain a remarkably resilient (maybe stubborn too) bunch.

So go ahead. Live forever. I’ll be right behind you.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Put Your Money In Ambulances

That’s right -- the next big investment opportunity if you want to see your money grow --buy an ambulance company. Competition among ambulance services for nonemergency medical transportation is getting fierce. Knoxville, Tennessee, for example, has two dozen services vying to take you to the hospital. Most of the runs are for pre-scheduled trips where a patient needs assistance, but there’s also the standby service where an ambulance is needed at sporting events or concerts. Think heart attack while rocking out to the aging Stones -- or maybe one of the Stones goes down. Either way, you can be assured that an ambulance is waiting outside to shovel up the afflicted (or affected) boomers and get them poste haste to hospital.

I can see where this may be going. At first, boomers will be content to use a standard ambulance, but as the competition heats up, they are going to want something different, something unique. I’m thinking muscle cars from the 70s. Convert a Pontiac GTO or Dodge Charger (maybe called the General Hospital) into an ambulance and boomers will climb all over that trend. Or how about a woody surf wagon with the surfboards still on the roof, Jan and Dean blaring on the sound system?

If you follow this logic to its inevitable conclusion, some boomers will start getting picky about what kind of ambulance they want to take to the hospital. Picture the guy who says, “I’ll wait for the next one,” in hopes of getting a cooler medwagon. Seem farfetched? Not if you’re talking about baby boomers who are very concerned with image. Arriving at the hospital or doctor’s office in a plebian, vanilla ambulance could wreck havoc with their reputation for good taste.

My suggestion would be if image is that important to you and you have the financial resources, buy your own ambulance and keep a driver/EMT on standby. That way you will always have a cool ambulance at your disposal, whether you’re at the beach or just taking in a ballgame. As crazy as it sounds, would you take a bet that it won’t happen?

Me neither.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Will to Live Trumps Living Wills

I guess you could blame the “forever young syndrome” (just made that one up), but what else would account for the fact that 64 percent of boomers admit to not having a health care proxy or living will. This startling fact comes to us via an Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll.

Bottom line, boomers are feeling healthy and don’t wish to dwell on death. Therefore, they feel they don’t need to address end-of-life issues. Despite plenty of high profile cases where individuals had no explicit instructions as to their medical care, more than half the boomers born between 1946 and 1964 have opted to ignore the potential for such calamities.

Ahem, ahem. That’s me -- clearing my throat. I don’t like to dwell on death either, but look around people. Friends and acquaintances you used to know are not with us anymore. When you were in your 40s or 50s, it didn’t seem like a big deal when you heard that someone in their 60s had died. Then, ever so gradually, you started to hear about people who died and were the same age as you. Creepy, but you put it in the back of your mind. Fast forward to present day, and now you’re realizing that more folks that you know are dropping out of your cohort (a new euphemism for the act of dying). The reality for all of us is that we are going to continue to lose these friends and acquaintances -- at an alarming rate -- in the not too distant future.

Experts remind us that even if you’re the picture of health it’s still a good idea to have a living will that specifies your wishes for medical care if you’re unable to communicate those wishes to your doctor. At the very least, a health care proxy gives you the ability to select someone you trust to make decisions about your medical care.

Do yourself a favor (and for those who love you) and visit this link on how to create your own living will or advanced medical directive. Each state has different laws regarding living wills but the Resources link will help you sort that out.

Denial is a big river. But when the boat starts to take on water, you might wish you had a can to bail it out. It wouldn’t hurt to do a little planning for when the day comes that you’re unable to express yourself. And therein lies a poignant irony. Boomers are known for expressing themselves, and yet, the death denial response is so strong that we/they/you cannot bring ourselves to plan for that inevitable day. The river doesn’t flow forever.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

What Golden Years?

It’s tough enough that boomers need to keep working because of shrunken retirement funds, but even worse when we’re accused of preventing the next generation from assuming our jobs.

Edward P. Glaeser is a professor of economics at Harvard and the author of “Triumph of the City: How Our Greatest Invention Makes Us Richer, Smarter, Greener, Healthier and Happier.” He wrote a piece for the New York Times titled Goodbye, Golden Years.

So when he says that it’s a myth that boomers are robbing younger workers of their chance to move up, we should listen.

Glaeser notes that boomers keep working because they believe they cannot afford to stop. About 40 percent of 55 to 64 year-olds do not have retirement accounts. Almost a quarter do not even own stocks or savings bonds. Their median net worth is now $254,000 (including housing), which is down from $273,000 just three years ago.

But Glaeser thinks that boomers remaining in the workplace may turn out to be a good thing for young workers, even if it sounds counterintuitive. Boomers may crowd out younger workers in some instances, but as older workers continue to earn wages, they buy more products produced by younger workers. Boomers will also continue to pay taxes that help our overall fiscal problems gold nestegg while they bring a diversity of perspective and experience to the workplace.

Glaeser’s hope is that older workers, who may be more inclined to be entrepreneurial, will start new businesses. Statistically, the older you are, the more likely you are to become self-employed. And that self-employment in turn can generate jobs and taxes.

Maybe the whole idea of retirement at 62 or 65 was a mid-century aberration. It was not always a foregone conclusion that workers would throw in the towel as soon as they hit the magic number.

If boomers find fulfilling work or self-employment well into their 70s, they just might find that the golden years are golden after all. Or at the very least, a little more time to earn some green.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.