Put Your Money In Ambulances

That’s right -- the next big investment opportunity if you want to see your money grow --buy an ambulance company. Competition among ambulance services for nonemergency medical transportation is getting fierce. Knoxville, Tennessee, for example, has two dozen services vying to take you to the hospital. Most of the runs are for pre-scheduled trips where a patient needs assistance, but there’s also the standby service where an ambulance is needed at sporting events or concerts. Think heart attack while rocking out to the aging Stones -- or maybe one of the Stones goes down. Either way, you can be assured that an ambulance is waiting outside to shovel up the afflicted (or affected) boomers and get them poste haste to hospital.

I can see where this may be going. At first, boomers will be content to use a standard ambulance, but as the competition heats up, they are going to want something different, something unique. I’m thinking muscle cars from the 70s. Convert a Pontiac GTO or Dodge Charger (maybe called the General Hospital) into an ambulance and boomers will climb all over that trend. Or how about a woody surf wagon with the surfboards still on the roof, Jan and Dean blaring on the sound system?

If you follow this logic to its inevitable conclusion, some boomers will start getting picky about what kind of ambulance they want to take to the hospital. Picture the guy who says, “I’ll wait for the next one,” in hopes of getting a cooler medwagon. Seem farfetched? Not if you’re talking about baby boomers who are very concerned with image. Arriving at the hospital or doctor’s office in a plebian, vanilla ambulance could wreck havoc with their reputation for good taste.

My suggestion would be if image is that important to you and you have the financial resources, buy your own ambulance and keep a driver/EMT on standby. That way you will always have a cool ambulance at your disposal, whether you’re at the beach or just taking in a ballgame. As crazy as it sounds, would you take a bet that it won’t happen?

Me neither.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Will to Live Trumps Living Wills

I guess you could blame the “forever young syndrome” (just made that one up), but what else would account for the fact that 64 percent of boomers admit to not having a health care proxy or living will. This startling fact comes to us via an Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll.

Bottom line, boomers are feeling healthy and don’t wish to dwell on death. Therefore, they feel they don’t need to address end-of-life issues. Despite plenty of high profile cases where individuals had no explicit instructions as to their medical care, more than half the boomers born between 1946 and 1964 have opted to ignore the potential for such calamities.

Ahem, ahem. That’s me -- clearing my throat. I don’t like to dwell on death either, but look around people. Friends and acquaintances you used to know are not with us anymore. When you were in your 40s or 50s, it didn’t seem like a big deal when you heard that someone in their 60s had died. Then, ever so gradually, you started to hear about people who died and were the same age as you. Creepy, but you put it in the back of your mind. Fast forward to present day, and now you’re realizing that more folks that you know are dropping out of your cohort (a new euphemism for the act of dying). The reality for all of us is that we are going to continue to lose these friends and acquaintances -- at an alarming rate -- in the not too distant future.

Experts remind us that even if you’re the picture of health it’s still a good idea to have a living will that specifies your wishes for medical care if you’re unable to communicate those wishes to your doctor. At the very least, a health care proxy gives you the ability to select someone you trust to make decisions about your medical care.

Do yourself a favor (and for those who love you) and visit this link on how to create your own living will or advanced medical directive. Each state has different laws regarding living wills but the Resources link will help you sort that out.

Denial is a big river. But when the boat starts to take on water, you might wish you had a can to bail it out. It wouldn’t hurt to do a little planning for when the day comes that you’re unable to express yourself. And therein lies a poignant irony. Boomers are known for expressing themselves, and yet, the death denial response is so strong that we/they/you cannot bring ourselves to plan for that inevitable day. The river doesn’t flow forever.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

What Golden Years?

It’s tough enough that boomers need to keep working because of shrunken retirement funds, but even worse when we’re accused of preventing the next generation from assuming our jobs.

Edward P. Glaeser is a professor of economics at Harvard and the author of “Triumph of the City: How Our Greatest Invention Makes Us Richer, Smarter, Greener, Healthier and Happier.” He wrote a piece for the New York Times titled Goodbye, Golden Years.

So when he says that it’s a myth that boomers are robbing younger workers of their chance to move up, we should listen.

Glaeser notes that boomers keep working because they believe they cannot afford to stop. About 40 percent of 55 to 64 year-olds do not have retirement accounts. Almost a quarter do not even own stocks or savings bonds. Their median net worth is now $254,000 (including housing), which is down from $273,000 just three years ago.

But Glaeser thinks that boomers remaining in the workplace may turn out to be a good thing for young workers, even if it sounds counterintuitive. Boomers may crowd out younger workers in some instances, but as older workers continue to earn wages, they buy more products produced by younger workers. Boomers will also continue to pay taxes that help our overall fiscal problems gold nestegg while they bring a diversity of perspective and experience to the workplace.

Glaeser’s hope is that older workers, who may be more inclined to be entrepreneurial, will start new businesses. Statistically, the older you are, the more likely you are to become self-employed. And that self-employment in turn can generate jobs and taxes.

Maybe the whole idea of retirement at 62 or 65 was a mid-century aberration. It was not always a foregone conclusion that workers would throw in the towel as soon as they hit the magic number.

If boomers find fulfilling work or self-employment well into their 70s, they just might find that the golden years are golden after all. Or at the very least, a little more time to earn some green.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Boomer Dream Cars

Forbes Magazine recently ran a feature on Baby Boomers’ Top Ten Dream Cars. We might as well be doing a Porsche BoxsterDavid Letterman Top Ten list, because these are some pretty expensive toys. Dream may be the operative word, because these cars have a might hefty entry fee.

Seriously....how many baby boomers do you know who are buying $40,000+ cars because they can? They must be Forbes subscribers, so maybe it does make sense. If you have high earnings and piles of investment cash, Forbes can guide you as to how to enhance this nest egg. What’s alittle splurge every now and then? Satisfy that whim....get rid of the SUV or minivan and buy a Porshe Boxster (#1 on the list, MSRP: $48,100-$61,800). Over 80% of their sales are to boomers. Or you could go with #2 on the list...BMW 6 Series Convertible. It’s only $90,500. Screw it! You want the best? Plunk down $102,600-$198,750 and get yourself a Mercedes-Benz SL. Nearly 70 percent of these are purchased by boomers.

Despite coming in at #10, it’s no surprise that 63 percent of all Corvettes are sold to boomers. A favorite of boomer kids growing up, now’s a great time to finally live the dream. MSRP: $49,045-$110,300.

For thos e with “only modest portfolios” (Forbes description, not mine), the #5 pick is the Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Sixty-six percent of their sales are to those “on the verge of retirement.” MSRP: $27,999-$32,599.

The funniest/most out of place car on the list? That’s easy. #8, the Chevrolet Aveo. According to Forbes, this is the choice of “empty nesters tapped out by paying for college tuition or making a late effort to sock away retirement savings.” MSRP: $11,965-$15,365.Forbes also notes that it is “Small and underpowered, frugality is its prime virtue.” There’s a ringing endorsement.

AveoWhere are the cars with montly payments of less than 200 bucks? Other than the Aveo, you can forget about it. No Ford Fusions, Chevy Maiibus, Toyota Camrys. No Hondas, Nissans, Volkswagens, Mazdas, Kias or Hyundais. Not even a Mini Cooper. Oh, wait, this isn’t about reality, it’s about dreams.

What was it that Robin Leach used to say on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous? At the conclusion of each show, he hoped that we would experience “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” Some of us can swing the champagne part, but we’ll be toasting the Subaru, hoping that we’ll get 200,000 miles out of it.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Boomers Give Florida Cold Shoulder

Here’s a not so far from the truth In-Search-Of ad in a Florida newspaper:

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4” (used to be 5’6”), searching for sharp looking, sharp dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

But the joke may be on Flordia, because boomers are looking elsewhere for retirement havens. For more than 50 years, retiring New Yorkers found Florida was their top destination. Now...not so much. In 2005, Florida accounted for 35 percent of New York’s net migration loss. In 2009, that share dropped to 11 percent, according to the Empire Center for New York State Policy [link here]. Where are New Yorkers heading if it’s not Florida? Try North Carolina.

What’s the story? More competition mostly. Other states are doing a lot more to lure retirees to their locales. But the biggest factor may be that boomers have loss equity and assets due to the meltdown and must now explore less expensive retirement options --- if they can afford to move anywhere.

Even if their stock portfolio has empty recovered somewhat, a lot of boomers may opt to stay put. Part of the equation is shrinking home values. If your house isn’t worth what it used to be and your savings have a dent in them, staying put may be the more attractive option. Add to that the fact that many boomers would like to remain close to family and friends, and you have a compelling case for nixing the whole retirement-in-the-sun scenario.

The new retirement paradigm may be to keep the house you’re in and take vacations or multi-month respites in warm locales. A note of caution though: if you drive in Florida be on the lookout for Herman.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "it's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

What? There’s No Forever 61?

In a recent post for Northern Life Canada site, Kate Forgach offers advice to baby boomers on how to dress.

I think we’ve all observed some boomers who must not own a mirror, or if they do own one, they must not walk by it before leaving the house. If they did take a good look at themselves, they might notice that they look ridiculous, or worse, highly unattractive in the clothes they wear.

Age appropriate clothing should be the norm, but as Forgach points out in her post, there is no Forever 61 store at the mall. Still, it amazes me how often you see boomers trying to dress like they did 40 years ago, or trying to wear the same styles as their sons and daughters. Gravity has seen to it that the flat abs are gone, replaced by descending pot bellies, so the tighter the clothing, the more unflattering the net effect is.

Forgach suggests that lady boomers forego the Daisy Dukes cut-offs and concentrate instead on tailored looks that are neither too tight or too frumpy. Her best line about decolletage is “many manufacturers are cutting tops so low you can see the Alps in one quick glance.” She also suggests you avoid the Granny Arms effect by avoiding sleeveless tops unless you have some really buff upper arms.

For men, the advice is to cool it on the stove pipe legs or the high waisted mommy jeans. Forgach thinks some tees are okay, but I’ve seen boomers in all-over graphics tees that look so absurd that you want shake them and explain that that ship/shirt look has sailed.

Finally, in the footwear segment, Forgach scores big points with me by nixing some footwear that I’d like to ban as well. “Two no-nos: Bedazzled Crocs and sandals with socks (unless you work in a food coop).”

Wardrobes are so casual now (think sweatsuits at the mall) that my theory is that it just might be the cool thing to dress up instead of dressing down. Most boomers are going to look a lot better in tailored slacks than they would even in Levis classic jeans. And I’ve also observed that aging bodies look better in button front shirts that hide a multitude of upper torso soft spots. Next time you’re out in a crowd, notice how a man wearing a sportcoat over a tee shirt looks better than the guy in a plain tee and jeans.

Final advice from most experts: Get out of whatever decade you’re stuck in and freshen up your style. It has to be better than what you’ve been wearing up until now.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

Make Up Your Mind!

Are boomers going to kill the stock market or create great investment opportunities? Or is the answer both?

Financial analysts (where do you go to school for that job?) are warning that as boomers hit retirement, there will be a big sell-off as they liquidate their assets. This could, in turn, put a dent in stock prices.

I’m no analyst or stock expert (phew!), but it seems to me that the stock market seems to tank on rumors of anything (Greece default, gloomy Fed forecasts, take your pick), so the prospect of boomer asset liquidation seems like just one more lame excuse for depressed stock prices.

But the real flaw in the boomer asset liquidation prognostications is that analysts actually believe that there are a lot of boomers out their who are in any position to retire. The anecdotal evidence I can collect is that a big batch of boomers are nowhere near ready to retire and won’t be liquidating any assets anytime soon unless it’s due to an underwater mortgage or loss of a job.

Another flaw? As boomers start leaving the stock market (and I concur that they will eventually, albeit not in the stampede some are predicting), the depressed stock prices mean that the liquidated assets will be substantially lower in value than a retiree would have.

But fear not. Even the analysts are quick to point out the silver lining in lower stock prices is that younger generations will be able to afford to buy bluechip stocks. In other words, our loss is their gain. Wow, that is good news! It’s always good to know that someone can profit from a down market.

Sad to say, we may be looking at a years-long (as in 3 or 4) economic recovery, and that means we will all be working longer and retiring later. If we still have jobs.

Am I the only one that thinks a ouija board has more chance of being right on which way the market is moving?

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.