Eat, Eat

According to recent research by the National Restaurant Association, boomers are beginning to “age out” of the restaurant market.

Since when do baby boomers “age out” of things? How did that become a thing? Aging out. We’re too old to eat outside of our homes? I call bullshit on this one. Supposedly, there are fewer boomer patrons due to mobility issues, unwillingness to drive after dark and the availability of dining options within senior living communities. I will accept that these factors might limit a small percentage of the boomer population, especially if you bear in mind that the oldest boomers (born in 1947) would be 72 years of age now.

In any case, restaurant operators are setting their sights on younger patrons. So rather than staking a claim on our barrels of money, they would rather focus on younger patrons with less expendable income. They predict a slow and steady decline in boomer dollars (which apparently will parallel our own slow and steady physical decline?). So it’s all about Generation Z now. You know them. They were born after the year 2000 and cannot spell or write.

Okay fine. So while restaurants are infatuated with Gen Z, the research suggests that boomers have shifted their dining dollars to take-out and delivery. Too feeble to make the scene anymore, our dining choices will be limited to what a teenager can bring to the door.

I don’t like where this is going. Are restaurants just in the vanguard of a movement to keep boomers at home where they can receive all their goods and services when the doorbell rings?

How about we fight back against this restaurant trend by taking a bunch of Generation Z kids out to dinner a few nights a week? Everybody wins. The restaurants get our dollars, the Gen Z kids get a meal they could not afford, and they can show us how to reboot our iPhones. And don’t forget — they don’t mind driving at night!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.

Face It

Let’s face it. Or not. Boomers are jonesing for plastic surgery procedures that will turn back the clock. The over 55 demo is seeking liposuction, botox and fillers that will make them look younger. What’s driving the big increase? Besides just wanting to look younger, this group also has a high divorce rate and that means they are back in the dating pool. Bad online dating site photos can kill a boomer’s chances right out of the gate.

Facelifts (rhytidectomy) top the list and last year boomers accounted for two-thirds of them. And half of all eyelid surgeries. The facelift fixes sagging skin, deep fold lines, jowls, and those turkey neck things that can really kill the buzz. Plan to spend north of $7K if you’re in the market for this fix.

Liposuction removes fat and contours what’s left behind. Throw a tummy tuck in there and you’re looking at a $3,500 and up price tag.

Hair transplants can remedy thinning mats and bald spots for men who want to get back that Woodstock look they’ve been missing. The cost varies with how much acreage you need to repair.

Breast augmentation is still popular and involves implants or fat transfer. That will run somewhere over $4K.

Finally, botox and fillers help to correct crow’s feet and forehead lines for as little as $400 bucks.

Add in a gym membership, loads of vitamins and health supplements, and a sporty car and you’ll be all set to start dating again.

Is it really worth it? I guess that depends upon how unhappy you are about your physical appearance and how motivated you are to seek out rewarding companionship. Anything that makes you feel more happy about your self-image can’t be all bad. We look in the mirror every morning and every night (and some of us look even more times than that) so if what you see makes you unhappy, maybe it’s time to invest in your physical and mental well-being.

Or you could just buy a Kindle and a Netflix streaming account and not leave home anymore. Life is harsh.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept and at BoomSpeak. He's written a mystery novel, Head Above Water which can be purchased on Amazon here. You can also visit his author page here.