Here's Looking at You Kid

 

Someone called me a whiz kid because I knew how to record a voice memo on an iPhone. He’s a few years older than me, but it got me thinking that if I qualify as a kid, maybe it was time to start to giving the “Kid” moniker to anyone younger than me.

The server at the Indian restaurant will be Kid Curry, the UPS driver will be Kid Brown, which means the other delivery guy will be Kid Fed. My coffee will be expertly brewed by Kid Barista and I’ll purchase my jeans from Kid Levi. Movie tickets will be purchased from Kid Flic and burgers from Kid Mac. Kid Firestone will rotate my tires and Kid Kroger will bag my groceries. Kid Cable will keep my TV going and with any luck, I’ll never have to watch any of the shameless shenanigans of Kid Kardashian.

When you’re a kid, you don’t want be called kid. As in, “Scram kid.” Or W. C. Field’s line, “Go away kid, ya bother me.” And being someone’s kid brother or kid sister isn’t exactly the description a young person wishes to be called.

But attitudes change and the years have mellowed my opinion about being “the kid.” Being the youngest carries no stigma anymore. On the contrary, when you put a bunch of boomers in a room, it’s quite the honor to be considered the kid.

It’s a storied tradition when you think about it. The Cisco Kid, Billy the Kid, Kid Shane, Karate Kid, Cudi the Kid, Kaitou Kid, Heartbreak Kid, Ringo Kid, Rawhide Kid, Two-Gun Kid, and who could forget the Sundance Kid. In the movie Casablanca, Rick toasts Ilsa with “Here’s looking at you kid.” That line is one of moviedom’s most famous.

A kid is young. A kid can get away with stuff. A kid has a certain joi de vivre, and who doesn’t want that? Yep, I’m liking this “kid” thing. I like being called kid, and I think I’m really going to enjoy calling younger people “kid.”

It’s a lot better than whippersnapper.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Driving Nowhere

When we were really desperate to drive somewhere, anywhere, we would pry out the back seat of the Mercury to look for loose change. In the bowels of the strange brown matting beneath the seat we would find nickels, dimes, pennies, and every now and then, a precious quarter. It may not sound like much now, but gas was 32 cents a gallon in those days, so 50 cents bought us some quality time on the back roads of New England.

We could take the MGA out by the reservoir and watch the beams of light from the headlights bounce off the rows and rows of pine trees that made up the watershed. After midnight, with the top down, all we could hear was the roar of the wind and the purr of the motor. Long straight roads were our late night entertainment as we pushed the MG to see just how fast it could go. The speedometer hit sixty, seventy, eighty, and sometimes ninety before the lights of an oncoming car would force us to click off the high-beams and ease off the accelerator.

Other teenagers parked at “the plaza” and went from car to car, making up lies about who was having sex and who wasn’t, which “good girls” really weren’t good girls, and countless other topics of absolutely no importance that whiled away their time. We, on the other hand, had to be on the move. The whole point of having a car was to be in it, to be one with it, and to always, always keep moving. Could we make it to the border of the next state and back on less than half a tank of gas? It’s not as hard as it sounds in a region of small states, but it was about the adventure. We tested our driving skill and teenage luck.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see how invulnerable we thought we were. It never occurred to us that you might lose control of an Oldsmobile Starfire doing 110 m.p.h. out on the interstate. All we knew back then was that our instincts were telling us to get out on the highway and drive (Steppenwolf “Looking for Adventure” anyone?).

Whatever happened to driving nowhere? Four dollar per gallon gas in the 70s and three dollar gas today would be answers, but maybe computers and video games provide a vicarious (and safer) sense of escapism. Besides, cars have become so complex that we no longer understand how they operate, and where’s the romance in that?

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Now What?

Boomers are moving into to the now what? phase.

Our bodies are, shall we say, disappointing us on a more frequent basis. One day it’s an eye infection and the next day it’s a hitch in the hip (yes, another one). What’s going on?

If you were at the car dealer for routine maintenance they would simply tell you that it’s normal part wear. That’s right. Your body is just like a car. As the mileage rolls up on the odometer, life’s wear and tear starts to add up. The problem is that you cannot replace limbs as easily as putting on new tires or just changing the oil or the mysterious cabin filter that every car service rep will tell you needs to be replaced (for $75).

If you’re counting on one hand the number of aches and pains you’ve decided you can live with, then you know exactly what we’re talking about here. Sore knee? It’s not so bad that you stop hiking. Cataracts? Stop driving at night. For every ailment there’s an excuse to keep on moving. And that’s as it should be, otherwise we would never get out of bed.

Speaking of getting out of bed…that’s when you take inventory of what will hurt today. Worse, it could be when you realize there’s a new pain that was not there when you went to bed. I hate that.

What are we supposed to do about this sensation that we’re trapped in the now what phase? In the words (and cartoons) of R. Crumb, we just need to Keep On Truckin! Facing life’s challenges unbowed, we need to sustain that forward momentum, that optimism that characterized the baby boomer generation that still lives on, navigating the troubled waters of our current social and political upheaval, so that we just KEEP ON TRUCKIN!!

Phew! Did not realize the power of those words. It won’t be easy to exchange “now what” for keep on truckin, but what other choice is there? Resilience is all we’ve got going for us and that may be just enough to get us through the hard times brought on by our physical deterioration.

No other option. We can do this.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

The End

Just came across the umpteenth post about things that baby boomers grew up with that are now or soon going the way of the dodo bird. Things such as photo albums, faxes, voicemails, checks, cash, manual transmissions, fax machines, landlines, newspapers, and many more.

What’s the fascination with this? Is it misplaced nostalgia? Are any of us really going to miss couches wrapped in plastic or the yellow pages? The good China has been disappearing for a long time now and not many of us shed any tears over that.

Handwritten letters made the list and honestly it is astonishing that anyone would still take the time to handwrite just about anything other than a grocery list (and you can do that in Notes!). Shocker – only 24 states require cursive writing instruction. That means we are probably no more than a decade away from school kids thinking that cursive writing is a foreign language.

Ever wonder why when you fill out medical forms there’s a space for home phone and a space for mobile? Who has a landline still? Boomers, of course, and we’re the ones filling out quite a few medical forms these days.

When my mother reached 100 years of age, she wanted me to help her make a list of the events and technology she witnessed in her lifetime. No luddite her, she mastered email at age 94. Computers, cell phones, rockets that orbit the earth, self-driving cars – she had seen it all. But she started out her childhood with a hand-cranked Victrola (and late in life admitted she put the cat on it once…maybe twice).

I only mention her amazement at what she witnessed in her lifetime because baby boomers can and should be equally astonished at what’s transformed our world in our lifetimes. Now we stand at the cusp of the artificial intelligence technology that will transform medicine, science, capitalism and climate. Honestly, many of us are more fearful than optimistic of what AI can do, but it’s here and it’s out of the box.

Nothing left for us to do but make lists of things we grew up with that are biting the dust. You go first. By the way, the illustration of the dodo bird was created with….AI.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

It's All About the 'Tude

Got a bad attitude about aging? The aches and pains wearing you down?  Afraid you won’t make it past 80? Is that what’s bugging you bubby?

A recent article in the NY Times extols a change of mindset. When you read that you may be thinking, “well if I could change my mindset that easily, I wouldn’t be depressed about aging.”

Sure, the experts say, having a positive mindset is conducive to aging well. The article cited a study that showed that those with a positive attitude about getting older lived seven and half years longer than those with a bad (read that as negative) attitude. Crikey. If it’s that easy to pick up seven years, why isn’t everyone doing it?

Ahh – that’s the crux of the problem right there. It’s not that easy to have a positive attitude when your hip hurts, your knee creaks, your hearing is fading, and your blood pressure is rising.

Platitudes don’t work, that’s for sure. When someone who has not seen you in 10 years tells you that you haven’t aged a bit, feel free to kick them in the shins and see if they think you still have a great attitude.

What does work? You need to actively promote positive aging beliefs according to experts. Start analyzing your own beliefs about aging. Do you moan about the bad knee, the hair loss, or the tennis game that’s not what it used to be? Find some role models of positive aging. You know they are out there. There’s the 90 year-old diver, a rare case for sure, but there’s also the 80 year-old who is still going to yoga classes. You can’t force positivity or paper over the genuine health issues, but experts believe that positive images of aging can improve your attitude and your physical function.

One example that hit home is the man whose left hip was aching much of the time, which in turn made him cranky about aging. When it was pointed out that his right hip was as old as the left and it was pain-free, it made him think that maybe his physical condition wasn’t so bad after all.

That’s a segue to the last advice for aging boomers. Try to remind yourself that with age comes the acquisition of useful information and wisdom.

That never gets old.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Don’t get me wrong. I think Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs) are a good thing. Loads of communities are altering their zoning to permit ADUs so that aging boomers can live in their kids’ backyard. So that’s a good thing, yes??

Hmm, maybe. Questions: Would the ADU go next to the grandkids’ swing-set or in the middle of the dog run? Will it be in the way when Sonny wants to hook up the big camper? Will it have a view of the neighbors’ yards (on three sides)? And speaking of neighbors, how are they going to feel about the new tiny home that’s now part of their backyard view?

That’s just the list of physical placement issues. What about the psychological pitfalls of having Mom and Dad in the backyard? Are they parents or tenants? Babysitters or more like AirBnB travelers?

You would be fooling yourself to believe that an ADU for one or more parents will have little to no effect on your lifestyle. Just the movement of your “guests” in and out of the property will take some getting used to. Will they have a vehicle? If so, where is it going to be parked? Can you picture Dad sideswiping your car trying to get out of the shared driveway?

Lastly, and it’s no small matter, your children have been out on their own for years. They broke free from the family home but here they are, many years later, pulled back into the fold. It may feel like you’ve exchanged roles; you’re more like the child and they are more like the parent. It could be mind altering (not in the good way).

No doubt ADUs will work for many families but I think that having a truly large yard and empathetic neighbors will be prerequisites for those considering this route. That and an endless amount of patience throughout the adjustment phase.

On the plus side (See? It’s not all bad) your offspring can make sure you are physically and mentally stable because they are going to see you every day. The ADU option can facilitate the transition to more intensive assisted living alternatives when the time comes.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Fogyism

Want to feel really out of it? Like an old fogy? Even the word fogy is old school for God’s sake!

But if you really want to feel out of it, check out the New York Times best albums of the year.

There were 25 artists listed in total and I only was familiar with 7 of them (see my list at end). See if you can do any better:

Charli XCX, ‘Brat’ and ‘Brat and It’s Completely Different but Also Still Brat’

Brittany Howard, ‘What Now’

Vampire Weekend, ‘Only God Was Above Us’

Billie Eilish, ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’

Kali Uchis, ‘Orquídeas Parte 2 (Deluxe)’

Willow, ‘Ceremonial Contrafact (Empathogen Deluxe)’

Beth Gibbons, ‘Lives Outgrown’

Elucid, ‘Revelator’

The Cure, ‘Songs of a Lost World’

Nala Sinephro, ‘Endlessness’

Arooj Aftab, “Night Reign”

Les Amazones d’Afrique, “Musow Danse (Bonus Edition)”

Beyoncé, “Cowboy Carter”

Chat Pile, “Cool World”

Dawes, “Oh Brother”

English Teacher, “This Could Be Texas”

Angélica Garcia, “Gemelo”

Orla Gartland, “Everybody Needs a Hero”

Ka, “The Thief Next to Jesus”

Michael Kiwanuka, “Small Changes”

Kendrick Lamar, “GNX”

Charles Lloyd, “The Sky Will Still Be There Tomorrow”

Laura Marling, “Patterns in Repeat”

Residente, “Las Letras Ya No Importan”

St. Vincent, “All Born Screaming”

Yes, we had bands with funny names in the 60s and 70s, but I’m not sure they topped Vampire Weekend, Chat Pile, or English Teacher.

It’s all good. They have their music and we have/had ours. We had mix tapes and CDs, they have Spotify and Apple Music. They can follow the lyrics and I’m not sure we ever could (and there was not Internet where we could look them up). On the plus side, the group English Teacher called their album “This Could Be Texas” which I’m hoping is apocryphal (because the real thing is scary enough).

Maybe we should jump on Apple Music and sample some of this music to see if we’re missing anything. Worse case we waste an hour and can go back to our ancient playlists. Best case, we like some songs very much and become new music converts. You never know.

[I knew of Brittany Howard, Billie Eilish, Beyonce, Michael Kiwanuka, Kendrick Lamar, and Charles Lloyd (if he’s the same jazz saxophone musician from my era), and St. Vincent]

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.