Dead Reckoning

Boomers once gave their kids the sex talk. Now it’s time for them to speak frankly about dying.

Baby boomers who have children may remember with fondness or embarrassment having the “sex talk” with their offspring. They were more embarrassed than you were, but you got through it and life moved on.

Speaking of life, the roles may be reversed now. Well, not the roles actually. More like the final assignments. It might be time for boomers to let their children know exactly what they have in mind for the final disposition. That is, what do you want your kids to with you when you’re gone. So that would be the “death talk” as opposed to the “sex talk.”

It’s time to recognize the next boom for the baby boomers, and that would be the illness, dependency and death boom, and that is NOT in the distant future. It’s a good time to communicate with the offspring/caretakers exactly how you want to go out of this world.

Just like the sex talk, it should be the time for candor as opposed to squirming. Sit the kids/caretakers down, take a big breath and tell them straight up what to do if/when you slide into dementia and how you want to be buried, cremated or rebooted. Do you have a plot for the time when you’ve lost the plot? If you’re going the ecologically sound cremation route, where do you want the ashes flung?

Do you know what a DNR is? It stands for Do Not Resuscitate and if you are near death’s door in a hospital, your near and dears ought to know that is the acronym you prefer. Gen Xers and Millennials have enough aggro in their lives right now, so it would be so kind of boomers to spell out exactly what we want in sickness and in death.

Thinking about the unthinkable kind of sucks. Leaving your offspring or designated caretakers in the dark about what to do when you go dark sucks even more. It’s time to get over it and do what baby boomers have always done – marched to a different drum. Let everyone know that when the “beat doesn’t go on,” here’s the plan. As soldiers going into battle were told, “goodbye and good luck.”

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Enuf with the AI

If you do any sort of email blasts and/or marketing, you are most likely getting inundated with entreaties to use A.I. to create your message. Really. Really?? How does that work? Does A.I. know what I want to say? Will A.I. read my mind? Can A.I. write an essay or fiction that somehow represents what is in my brain?

Here’s some samples of what A.I. promises:

Constant Contact’s new AI Content Generator leverages artificial intelligence to automate the copy drafting process for marketing campaigns.
Get instant ideas, create emails and social posts in seconds, and have all your messages written for you.

Beat writer’s block for good.  Plug in a few words and get fully written content — all with the tone you want.

I’m tempted to take them up on it just to see what an A.I. robot would come up with, but the downside is it could be brilliant, albeit way off topic. So just for the hell of it, I asked ChatGPT to give me a blog post about the trials of being a baby boomer. Result? Decent. It combed the internet and discussed how we’ve gone from stability to uncertainty and struggle to keep up with relentless technology as well as ageism in the workplace.

So yes, by absorbing anything ever written about baby boomers, it produced a darn good summary of the challenges we face. By the way, it did it in about 20 seconds which was equally impressive.

But – a huge caveat here – it wasn’t what I was thinking. It wasn’t my viewpoint. It wasn’t the work of my brain. It was a mechanized harvest of what thousands of people on the internet and elsewhere had written on the topic. And don’t forget, some of us consider much of this harvesting to be theft. If you create any type of art, you must already be aware that A.I. may steal it.

If that wasn’t sad enough for me, I’m writing this on the same day that the New York Times ran an op-ed about the suicidal young woman who used a ChatGPT A.I. therapist called Harry. It did not end well.

A.I. most likely has a brilliant future ahead, but it will be of no use to me when it comes to producing BoomSpeak, writing original content, or featuring other baby boomer authors. We may have to add a line to our submission requirements stating that A.I. produced work cannot and will not be accepted.

As Walter Cronkite used to say, “And that’s the way it is.”

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Boomer Panic

Have you heard about Boomer panic? Really. It’s apparently a thing. Someone coined the phrase when a Lowes hardware cashier was tagged on TikTok for getting all screechy and panicked when faced with dowels that did not have price tags.

That’s how these memes start. A baby boomer is called out for “boomer panic” which in turn becomes a condition the entire internet can jump on and voice their concurring opinion. Then the amateur psychoanalysis begins.

Here’s a direct quote from a commenter: “Boomers grew up when they had to bottle up their feelings to show their resilience. This can lead to growing anger, frustration with situations and people, chronic stress, and anxiety—all conditions that can lead to panicky, unhinged behavior.”

Another commenter opined “From conversations with my mother, they weren’t allowed to make mistakes and were harshly punished if they did.”

Holy cow! We really had it bad and we’re so effed up that we’re still paying for it today. Fear not, however, because experts (using that term loosely) advise younger generations to sympathize with boomers who are unable to regulate their emotions. Phew! I thought we were done for but apparently it’s all the fault of our parents. They never taught us how to regulate our emotions.

The irony here is that if you spend any time watching Instagram or Facebook videos posted by GenXers, Millennials or GenZers, it’s very clear that many of them (not going to generalize here) are totally clueless about how regulate their emotions and should not be held up as proof that they had better (i.e. less effed up parenting) emotional balance.

I would put my clueless parents up against any of today’s clueless parents and we’ll see who is more emotionally well-balanced. Wait a second. It’s too late! Now I really am panicking! The amateur psychologists may be right.

Nah. This boomer panic thing isn’t really a thing. It’s just a manifestation of younger gens watching entirely too many TikTok videos and coming up with dumb conclusions. Maybe they would be better off reading the classics and analyzing why Macbeth’s mother found it so easy to manipulate him. Bet you he would be a riot buying dowels at Lowes.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that's not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Get Some Sleep

Am I the only baby boomer wandering around at 3:30 in the morning? I don’t think so. Apparently baby boomers are more susceptible to sleep apnea at this stage of their lives. If your blood pressure has been dropping and you’re tired all the time, or (you’ll love this one!) you stop breathing momentarily in your sleep, you should see a doctor.

Insomnia and sleep apnea occur more often as you get a bit older and heavier. Things get flabby and the parts start to loosen up – like your airways!! Yikes.

If none of these symptoms hit home, maybe you’re just as stressed out as the rest of us who are awake in the early hours. According to those who measure things, about three fourths of baby boomers surveyed say that they get less than eight hours of sleep a night, and one in six has difficulty falling asleep. You made it through crying infants and out–all-night teenagers and now this?

Just the noise of the cat puking in the living room can wake you from a sound sleep. Then as long as you’re up cleaning the floor you might as well get a glass of water. And after the water it only makes sense to go to the bathroom. Maybe then it’s a good time to plan that fantasy trip to the Greek Islands. Should you go with two or three days in London on the way to Athens? Has anyone sent you email in the middle of the night? You never know. If I’m up they could be up. It’s only midnight in LA…but they go to bed at 8 pm don’t they? You could get off the computer and go out on the sofa to watch TV. Home improvement shows are perfect for putting you to sleep. You start watching Amy the carpenter on Sweat Equity reruns and wake up twenty minutes later with drool on your chin (sorry about that Amy).

All the health gurus say you should get eight hours of sleep but what if you never slept that much? What if you’ve been getting by for years on six hours?

I’d like to help you with this problem, but I’m going back to bed.

(This is a Best of BoomSpeak post from some time around 2014)

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Early Bird Pact

More important than “to love and cherish” or “in sickness and health” is the vow we made to each other many years ago – no early bird dinners. I’m not sure how it all began, but it may have had something to do with watching some seniors shuffle into the local Horn and Horn Smorgasbord Cafeteria at 4 o’clock in order to get the cheaper Early Bird dinner. One of us looked at the other and we vowed at that moment, to never, ever go to one of those things.

It’s a lot like the “shoot me if I get like that” promise that spouses extract from each other. There’s something about a herd of seniors being corralled into a cafeteria to eat at 4 pm (whether they’re hungry or not) that’s very unsettling. The restaurant views them as a captive audience that can be manipulated easily by the promise of a discount because they’re living on fixed incomes. Maybe that’s why there are so few guys wearing ascots or women wearing diamonds at an early bird dinner.

Does eating dinner at 4 pm mean you’re in bed under the covers by 8? Why does being older mean you have to miss all the fun? We want to eat at 8 pm and stay out until 10 or 11. Where’s the fun in sitting at home watching reruns? I would rather eat less and pay less than be rounded up like docile cattle for the chow line because the restaurant wants to fill some seats and get me out before the high rollers show up (if there areany high rollers going to cafeterias).

Even the elder hostels give me pause. Sure, the programs are great and they take the guesswork out of the planning, but there’s that herding thing going on again. Like lemmings following the lady with the red umbrella at the museum. I’m too much the nonconformist to go there.

I’ll take the discount for seniors at the movie theatre, museums, for bus/train fare, and at the supermarket. That’s only fair. We paid our dues by paying full price all these years. And it’s okay if a younger person allows me to go ahead of them (age before beauty is a reasonable accommodation). But, we have promised ourselves that there are no Early Bird dinners in our future, and it’s a promise we intend to keep.

(Best of BoomSpeak from 2009) 

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Peak Burden

No one would blame you if you’re one of the people who thought “peak burden” is when you’re exhausted from carrying around a mountain. Alas (a word that should be used more often), the phrase refers to rapidly approaching “peak 65” when the youngest boomers turn age 65.

Who cares? Maybe you should if you’re on the leading edge of the generation. We (the leading edge we) are mostly prepared for retirement if we have not already done so. The peak 65 group? Not so much.

Around 53% of “peak boomers,” who will turn 65 between 2024 and 2030, have less than $250,000 in assets, a new study found. Research also indicates that more than a quarter of the workers that are nearing retirement have no savings and few years left to put some money away.

Bottom line, peak boomers will be hard pressed to maintain their standard of living in retirement. That in turn means they will rely on Social Security as their primary source of income. It’s estimated that one-third of these younger boomers will rely on Social Security benefits for at least 90% of their retirement income when they are 70.

You should already know that Social Security was never meant to be a retiree’s total income. More like 40%. The idea was that it would supplement what retirees had managed to save over the years in a bank account or 401k. The average benefit is $23,000 per year, which is hardly enough for a comfortable retirement. It’s more like a small step up from sleeping on the street in a cardboard box.

How or why should the peak burden worry older boomers? The stress put on the economy by these peak burden retirees will impact everyone. Productivity could slow as they leave the workforce. Likewise, consumer spending could decrease as they lack the funds to spend. In effect, everyone could feel some pain, not just the peak burden people.

There’s a saying that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Not buying it. Many retirees could be seeing some hard times ahead.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Thanks Smartphones

Turns out that smartphones have ruined us. Maybe not baby boomers so much, but smartphones have had an adverse effect on us as well. According to a boatload of different studies, many of the skills we had have bitten the dust. Here’s a sampling.

Great Memory – We used to know other people’s phone numbers and addresses. Now, we’re lucky if we can recall our own. Excessive screen time (you’re watching TV while scrolling on your phone – we all do it now) has a negative affect on cognitive ability, memory, concentration and focus.

Reading Social Cues – Boomers grew up with many face-to-face experiences. Our ability to read body language helped us to make friends in-person, and feel comfortable in social situations and job interviews. Younger generations avoid in-person interaction and hide behind those little screens.

Focus – Growing up before smartphones came along, we were able to be more productive when it came to truly concentrating on a task. That was before a harmless notification “ding” could sabotage whatever we were trying to focus on and drop everything to check on who was contacting us.

Patience – It should be obvious, but the immediacy of smartphones has killed our ability to wait things out. It’s a now world now. We have to respond ASAP to every email and text.

Silence – We were capable of sitting in solitude without external stimuli but younger generations raised on smartphones have no clue what that was like.

Entertaining oneself – We had no choice. There were often times when reading a book or taking a walk was a far better experience than checking in on Facebook.

Great handwriting – We’ve been here before. There’s hardly anyone left who can write longhand (or knows what that word means).

Independent thinking – There was a time when we came to our opinions based on discussion and debate along with a healthy serving of news. Social media promotes a groupthink that stifles original thought.

Delayed gratification – Social media is in the moment so what’s the point of waiting to do something if you can have it NOW.

Storytelling – Sure, there is storytelling on line, but it’s not the same as face to face sharing that can bond people together.

Resourcefulness – It’s just too hard to ignore the allure of social media when that distraction is so tempting. Boomers had to overcome problems and develop a routine on their own, without cribbing ideas off the internet.

The bottom line is that we may have been better off in terms of intellectual and personal development, but we’re just as vulnerable when it comes to the harm a life lived on top of smartphone can do. It could be time to put it down for a whole day and see what happens (after you get over the panic of not knowing where it is).

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.